A Rant in Geek Speak

I won't be the least upset if you don't read this. I haven't indulged in a good rant in a while, this one is all about data collection and so forth. Boring as hell, so sorry.

I was looking at my sales data, trying to make some sense of it. Lot's of luck - it's a nightmare.

There are 3 vendors, with sub-vendors, 12 months, a series of years to come, and an unlimited number of stories. There's no freaking way to make it fit in a single spreadsheet.

You know why? Because the crazy data is 3-dimensional not 2-dimensional.

Yes - I know - multiple spreadsheets within a book. Ha! Divided by what exactly? Vendor? Each one has a problem with it – watch this.

Spreadsheet sales by vendor. We have months across the top (X) and each writing project across the side (Y). So where does the sub-vendor information go? Oops! Can't track sales by market.

Take two – Months across the top and vendor with sub-vendor information down the side. So where do we break it down by writing project? (SUPER clunky, this one, though I will need it for the IRS.)

Take three – each project gets their own spreadsheet. (Right, like I have time for that!) and each sale is broken down by price and royalty rate.

PRICE? Royalty rate? Wait a cotton-pickin' minute! I gotta know each sale for that. Not just Monthly sales and and vendor but the dang prices (which vary) and royalty rates?

Look, you want to crunch these numbers properly or guess at how much money you lose every time you put a work 'on sale' for $.99 – or worse yet for free? Average earnings counts in the real world, chickybaby, so don't go a 'art-Tist' and squirm out of it!

Buck up and Geek this properly.

Must have coffee! Coffee and bad Chinese food!

NO! Too early for Chinese.

Okay, Coffee AND chocolate! Put it in the coffee!

(trots off to raid the Godiva.)

Did I ever tell you that I buy Godiva chocolate at the Rineyville Feed Store?

(trot, trot, trot)

AHHHHHH!!!! HE ATE THE GODIVA! AHHHHHH!!!!!!

(Sobbing noises)

Another Opportunity Wasted

Restaurant owners sour on county over big fee for sewer "hookup" fees for existing service.

There is nothing like investing $750k in your business then getting hit with another $50k for something that isn't going to change.

The Kustalas planned to open Lure at Coffee Creek Estate by this fall, but Nicholas said the reuse-fee issue has delayed its opening and put on hold 15 to 25 new jobs. Nicholas Kustala has taken the issue to U.S. Rep. Steven LaTourette, R-Bainbridge, and is working with the county commissioners to find a solution. The topic came up at a commissioners’ work session earlier this week, and Commissioners Board President Daniel Claypool said it shows one issue of county and municipal sewer treatment systems: unreasonably high tap-in fees that discourage new business.

We all know how 'cliquish' small towns are - is this just the latest example of how backwards Ashtabula county really is?

There is the story of the people who purchased siding, for a building on Main Street, but couldn't put it up because no one told them it had to be a certain gage.

There are the hundreds of abandoned homes that 'can't' be taken over by the city and resold. Commerical buildings that have been vacant for years. And the Carlisle building that is literally condemned and can't be be torn down.

This is the same county that insists on finding a 'fairy Godfather' super-plant that will employ every person in town - instead of growing small and micro-businesses.

In the land of 'Go Big or Go Home' is it any wonder why business choose the 2nd option?

More on 'Swallow the Moon'

I'm getting everything in order - this is really time consuming.

However, it is important to take this time, before the official date, to get everything in order.

Here is some eye-candy.

The Smashwords edition is up and for sale. I'm waiting on the premium catalog and I may need to buy another ISBN. The book is also signed up for the Smashwords promotion at half price.

'Swallow the Moon' on sale at Smashwords for $1 with this code: SSW75

There is so much to do - I hope I've given it enough time.

Pulled the Trigger on "Swallow the Moon"

I know, you didn't expect to see that tom-cat in a post about publishing.

It's kinda like getting 'rick-rolled' which you might need to google.

Publishing the second novel is different that publishing the first. I was happy to have a manuscript in good enough shape to experiment on.

But it's different this time. 'Swallow the Moon' is a better story. So, like that old tom-cat, I haz street cred.

The New Midlist: Self-published E-book Authors Who Earn a Living

The New Midlist: Self-published E-book Authors Who Earn a Living

I'm on the Kindleboards and I've seen these figures before.

This is important stuff to think about. Good reasons to consider your publishing options.

I can only hope to reach the 'mid-list' at this point. It is always good to have goals.

Knock Knock - Mother Clucker

Pick Your Battles is an utterly hillarious blog that I wouldn't believe except for the pictures.

It just goes to show that no man is a match for the twisted female sense of humor. NO MAN.

Because when Man pisses off his Woman strange things tend to happen. Like she brings home a sheet metal sculpture of a chicken - well a rooster. And we all know what the other name for rooster is.

The um - chicken/rooster jokes going through my head have kept me in gales of giggles since I first saw this.

If ever a story deserved to go viral - this is the one.

Just keep in mind that this started over towels. Now it's totally out of control.

Another Great Idea

I'm dangerous when I start thinking. The phrase 'what if' gets me into more trouble.

The other day I was on E-Bay - and I picked up on the 'hatching eggs' section.

Seriously, I couldn't resist. I tried, but I kept going back to this one part. They were offering 17 hatching eggs of various species. Potluck - catch as catch can. Whatever was laid that day - I would get 17 of them.

Chicken, duck, goose, turkey, pheasant or -- drum roll -- peacock eggs to be sent to my home for me to attempt to hatch.

I should know better...I'm gambling again. This time it will be more fun - if anything hatches.

I'm hopeless - you know that right?

I wrote this post because my book came back from the editor and I'm too chicken to look at it.

Buc-buc-AWK

Jive and the Turkey

A couple weeks ago I purchased a couple young turkey poults. Oddly enough they came with a tattered looking game hen. As usual, there were losses. Only one turkey is still alive, and he has his ninja foster-mother to thank.

Anyway, I call her Jive (70's slang = Jive Turkey.) She hangs out in the farthest corner of the barn, or takes Turkey into one of the stalls. High strung and paranoid, it doesn't look like I'll be handling her or Turkey any time soon. She GROWLS at me when I come into the barn. Sounds like a good sized dog - scared the hell out of me the first time I heard it.


Jive's a game (fighting) chicken which means she's aggressive - attack my feet and bite like a pitbull aggressive. I had to punt her to get her to let go - I'm lucky to still have my toes. I have some bite marks on my ankles from when I surprised her. I started carrying my chicken stick to ward off attacks.

The other chickens are wary of her. (How's that for an understatement?) The cats cringe when they see her coming. I'm selling tickets to her next encounter with Trouble. I'd make some money betting on her.

My rooster, Mickey Finn, tried to make up to her, you know, add her to the harem. I didn't see what happened, (it was that fast) but he lost feathers in the process. Rejection sucks even when you're a rooster.

He did give her species-challenged offspring a long, hard look. Then kinda shook it off. I'm sure he figured having a young-un that ugly made her a bit touchy. He's offered her food, which she's refused. But she runs back and forth when he gets close as if she's flustered. (Oh, no he's looking and my feathers are a mess! Help! Go away! No - wait - no - go way.)

Any woman who's ever seen a hot guy with her hair in curlers (or her legs unshaved) can relate.

What bothers me is that the old drake, Pinto, follows her around with lust in his heart. Well, I think it's lust, but he might just be trying for a turkey sandwich. He ate one of her babies already. If I ever get another drake, Pinto's going to go for Chinese. (If you know what I mean.) However, all his rivals have mysteriously vanished, not even leaving feathers behind.

I think he cut a deal with the foxes.

What a skank.

A Word, By Any Other Name

Guest Blog Post by Sarah R. Yoffa

One of the most-commonly misunderstood parts of the novel-writing process is what happens after that amazing creative burst subsides, once the story has been disgorged from the AuthorGod's mind. The process isn't finished when you get to "The End," but the fun, creative part is over. No, after all the fun is when the uncreative, hard work of editing begins.

Creative writing and editing are very different activities, tapping into different sides of the brain, but since both activities involve selection and rejection of words, many writers confuse creative "wordsmithing" with actual editing. In addition, there are different levels of "editing" which are actually intended to effect different changes, so it's important to understand the purpose of each level or type of "editing" and treat each activity accordingly. With the possible exception of a class in a School of Journalism, to my knowledge, no literary or creative writing course will teach you how to edit, so let's take a look at the different terms and what they really mean. Or what they mean to me¹, anyway.

Proofreading:

This is a read-only activity where one used to print out (onto paper) and mark "mistakes" but not actually change anything. Given that computerization's whole point is to eliminate paper waste, this step has become interactive. That doesn't mean you should eliminate it entirely, though, so a word of caution to the novice. Proofreading at the keyboard is much harder to do "correctly" when it's done interactively, as most authors will line-edit while proofreading instead of proofreading as a distinct activity. Proofreading as a reading activity serves a purpose, and making it interactive raises the chances that errors will slip through. In fact, new errors might be introduced through the line-editing process if conducted in parallel with proofreading and these new errors might not be caught at all if there is not a separate and discrete proofreading stage.

Proofreading should be done with a focused mind--focused on the task of simply picking up on typos. That is, typographical errors which the author actually knows are incorrect but, due to typing quickly and with zeal as the story unfolded before them, mistyped or mistakenly typed while so immersed in the creative process. Most of the errors caught during proofreading are related to spelling (transposed letters in a word), grammar (changing singular to plural or using -ed when you meant to write -ing and definitely were not confused as to verb tense), or even simple errors in punctuation and sentence structure.

Note, by "sentence structure," I'm not referring to a well-flowing sentence. That's an editing issue. Rather, I refer to actual mistakes in the construction of the sentence. The author will instantly see these the next time they look at the work. For example, one of my worst typos is moving a word over by 2 or 3 words in a sentence. This is purely a function of my typing at the high speed of about 100 words per minute (wpm) and thinking at about 180wpm. My fingers simply cannot keep up with my brain so the words come out jumbled. Later, when I'm proofreading, even I can't figure out how some of these sentences got rearranged the way they did.

Proofreading functions on the premise that the reader does not know what the words are until they are actually being read; therefore, mistakes will them "stumble" as they're reading along. A reader's "stumble" can occur for other reasons (e.g., plotting issues) but usually, it's due to a typo, poor sentence construction or some kind of grammatical mistake. The latter two issues will be address when line-editing but the typos are straightforward proofreading issues.

The biggest problem a fiction writer faces is that we read our own work multiple times as it's being created. We practically memorize our novels before we finally say they are done and ready to go out into the world. If you're a novelist, at a minimum, you probably read your own work:

(1) inside your head while you're forming the thought and about to type it;
(2) as you're typing it, and
(3) immediately after you've typed it.

Years ago, when I worked as a secretary, and therefore, had to proofread my own typing as soon as possible after typing it, usually within an hour or less, I discovered that the best way to clear my mind of what I'd just typed was to deliberately immerse myself in something else. I'd type ten letters then go back to proofread the first one. For a novelist, just write another scene, then double back to proofread the previous piece. Leap-frog through the day's work, proofing as you go. Proofreading, not editing. For more on the difference, keep read on.

When you feel like you could recite your book by heart and can't proofread it effectively anymore, even waiting an entire day after typing it, try reading it out loud. Reading aloud allows you to read it "anew," because you've literally never heard the words before; you've only seen them. By forcing your ears to double-check your eyes, you by-pass your brain's belief that you know what the words say.

Line-Editing:

Not to be confused with actual editing (see below), this process is sometimes called Copyediting. In fact, traditional DTB publishers have a position whose title is "Copyeditor" and that person might be assigned to do this activity for a novel the publisher has under contract.

It is an interactive process where the author (or a Copyeditor) will change individual words to "tighten" a sentence or improve its flow without actually changing its meaning or having any impact on the story's overall plot. Line-editing might include the deletion of an entire sentence to "tighten" a paragraph or the Copyeditor might add those transitional sentences that are needed between paragraphs to improve the flow of a story's plot and pacing. Line-editing will improve, or polish, the flow of a story without impacting the kernel of the story being told. This is not an activity of correction (so it's not proofreading) but can introduce new errors, so be sure to proofread again after line-editing.

Wordsmithing:

And now we meet the Villian of our story. This is the #1 most-commonly visited activity by new or inexperienced writers. It is also an absolute waste of time and effort. This activity will destroy a new or inexperienced author's efforts to polish their work themselves. It is a distraction, not a productive activity. What is it, exactly?

Wordsmithing is what I call it when an author reads along, has an innate sense that something is "wrong" with the sentence (or paragraph) but rather than deleting the sentence or replacing it entirely, he finds himself changing one word here or one word there. He is unable or unwilling to simply delete the sentence or troublesome phrase. Most commonly, a new writer or one who is inexperienced in editing, will get so attached to a word or turn of phrase, they will wordsmith repeatedly polishing "around" the problem without actually remedying the situation. In fact, they might wordsmith to such an extent they end up bloating the story and still not fixing the original problem. These authors must learn to simply murder their darlings, delete those pet phrases or words, no matter how painful it might seem at the time. Once the newbie author gets past the first or second act of "murder," it's an amazingly freeing activity to simply delete things that aren't working. In fact, it will help build your confidence in your ability to write because if you write something different, you'll probably be writing something better. Best of all, you'll see the improvement the next time you proofread!

Wordsmithing can be just the tweaking of words but it can also involve adding and subtracing commas, quote marks, dashes and other punctuation as though they are paraphrenalia instead of serving an actual mechanical function in a grammatical structure. Most commonly, authors who are committed to wordsmithing--rather than copyediting--will change something, then change it back, then change it again, back and forth, repeatedly, ad nauseum. Literally. It will make you sick to watch an author friend spin their wheels trying to fix something when all they're doing is pushing the same problems around on their plate. Like brussel sprouts

(Actually, I really like brussel sprouts but it made a nice simile).

Editing:

And tah-dah, now we meet the Hero of our story. Editing. This is one of the hardest activities for a creative writer to master. There's a reason for that. Generating the story is a creative process. Editing a story is usually a destructive process. That is, editing involves a lot more deletion than it does insertion of new material. Editing fiction is hard to define in specific, task-oriented terms.

In journalism, or other non-fiction editing, one looks at how quickly and concisely the message of "who, what, when, where, how and why-should-readers-care" can be delivered. Journalism professionals are concerned with using the least amount of column-space to deliver the largest amount of information with the highest level of emotional content so as to hook the reader's attention and hold it. Sound bites work best in a magazine or newspaper article.

In fiction, however, pacing the plot correctly requires that the content of the story be inextricably linked to how the it's being told. You don't want to rush past the climax in three paragraphs and then dwell on a five-page description of a tree. Unless, like Dickens, you're being paid by the word and they don't care how many words you send them. If you know of a job like this, please post a link in the comments! I can churn out 10,000 meaingless words in an hour for you. Let's talk subcontract!

Editing fiction looks at the over-arching "shape" or flow of a story's plot from the beginning, through the middle and to The End. Your editing will impact the readability of your story and the depth to which the reader is involved in the moment of action on the page. If it's a quiet moment, a character reflecting on a major decision she has to make, you might like to go on for five pages. If it's a shoot out or car accident, not so much. Editing is the process that lets you make your sentences shorter for a faster pace or the expositive more vibrant for a richer setting and world-building experience. You might have to change the content entirely but your editing will not simply change a word here or there. Editing will impact the plot and, therefore, the characters.

Editing is the means by which you make characters more believeable, more sympathetic or likeable (or someone we love to hate in the case of a Villian or Anti-Hero). Editing might be how you create a new character when a plot twist isn't believeable and you need to have someone else in the scene to justify the protagonist's choices. Editing is where you delete paragraphs, pages, even whole chapters, to make the overall length of the book better-suited to the story you wanted to tell.

Editing fiction is not just a process for removing stumbling blocks or scraggly plot points. Editing can also deepen a character, expand on a subtext or set up a sequel. The key to editing is to always look at the "Big Picture" or the overall "shape" of a story's plot. The so-called story arc. Some people call it a story's "theme" or "meta-arc" if it is a common line of plotting that connects one volume to another in a series. Editing is done at what I call the 50,000 foot level while Copyediting and Proofreading are down at the ground level, with your nose an inch from the page. Editing is altering the map of the entire book, not the massaging of paragraphs and certainly not the wordsmithing of individual sentences.

I never used to outline before beginning to write, and I usually begin writing a book at The End and work my way backwards, but as I got better at editing, I realized, outlining first meant I could use it as a guide or map to my story's journey. And it made editing later much, much easier.

Outlining first does not have to restrict you. You are the AuthorGod. You can deviate from the outline and take a little side trip if your Muse leads you down the garden path; but having an outline means you don't lose sight of the Big Picture that is the forest while you're creating those much-loved pet phrases that are the trees populating your story.

I hope these concepts delineating the different levels of "editing" make sense to you and that you can see why the different ways of "touching" a story after you've finished writing it are so distinct and not all clumped under one term. They each serve entirely different purposes. Hiring a professional editor should get you more than mere line-editing or proofreading. If they aren't smoothing out your plot, shaping the story's arc to be most effective for the kind of story it is and ensuring that your characters have depth, then they aren't worth hiring. You can find voracious readers on Goodreads, Authonomy or in any bookseller's web site forums who will proofread and line-edit for you free of charge. They'll think they're getting something for free. With the proliferation of digital eBook reading devices, the numbers of readers who are online looking for free stuff to read is literally infinite.

Real editing requires a professional ability to critique at a 50,000 foot level. An author can--and should--learn to do it for herself, but if you're going to pay someone else to do it for you, be sure he delivers your money's worth. If you aren't sure about the quality of an editor (a) request three (3) references of authors they've worked for previously whom you can contact with questions about the editor and (b) check to be sure they are not listed in the Writers Beware database.

---

¹Most of my knowledge of how to polish a document after it's been composed comes from the one-year Executive Secretarial Program of the Katharine Gibbs School, which taught secretarial skills for over 100 years before it changed, in the 1990s, into a web design school. Accordingly, my information is based on "King's English" and not netspeak or prosaic literature or even on the journalistic rules of written communication. I apply executive communication rules of American English to my fiction, mostly complying with the Chicago Manual of Style, but only on rules of grammar, punctuation and spelling. Style, in fiction, is called a writer's voice and no "manual" or "course" can tell you how to find your own voice. Your writing will "sound" different from mine, hopefully, but we should all conform to the the same rules of English language usage--assuming your story is written in English.

Sarah R. Yoffa can be found on Facebook as Sarah, The Webbiegrrl Writer or on Twitter @webbiegrrl. Her debut novel, Coming Home (Dicky's Story), a Romantic Comedy/Jewish Inspirational, is available in multiple eBook formats at Smashwords or through the Amazon US and Amazon UK Kindle stores.

Quickie

I started working on my mother's stories.

I have decided that for her 88th birthday, I'm going to get a collection together and published to Amazon.com

She's got 18 volumes of short stories, so I'm going to give this my best shot.

If you would like to read one of her stories - "Turned Out" is on Smashwords (where it is free), B&N and Amazon where it is $.99.

She gets a quarter for each sale - it's a running joke. I've got a roll of quarters with her name on them.

The Vincent Zandri Vox: "You Can Write on the Side!"

The Vincent Zandri Vox: "You Can Write on the Side!"

Saw this and thought it was worth sharing - as a lesson of sorts.

I've been on the other side of this - writing 'on the side' never worked for me. I'm just not organized enough to send out stories or novels while juggling a 'real' job and all my home responsibilities.

Realistically taking care of the people in my life and working a job is really 2 full-time jobs. So adding writing (even as a part-time job) is out of the question.

This 'dog and pony show' takes up all my time.

Chicken's Can't Swim

I let the chickens free range today. It was too hot for the dogs to want out - so I let the baby birds roam. Of course there is a percentage of them who haven't figured out that the big huge doors on the barn are for.

Ever heard the saying "Dumb cluck" - can you guess where it came from?

I always take Mocha the Mutt out with me when it's time to round up chickens. She's got a beagle nose and no prey drive to speak of - unlike the Jack Russels who don't know when to stop.

We checked the peppermint patch for strays - and found a few. She spotted them and I carried them back to the pen. I went back for one more when I happened to shine the flashlight in the water trough.

Sure enough - I had a drowned chicken in there. I scooped up the body - and was amazed when the wings flapped a bit. Dumb Cluck had fallen in and but hadn't given up the ghost yet. I carried the weak critter into the barn - found the heat lamp and the big metal trough that I converted to a brooder when it rusted out.

I put the poor shivering bird under the light and watched it for a few minutes. It had bubbles coming out of it's beak - a bad sign. Also it was kinda laying on it's side - another bad sign.

I left it for about an hour - I just came in from checking on it. It still wasn't completely dry - but it was standing on it's feet and looking at me.

I can't assume that the bird is fine - it could still catch cold and die. So it will stay in the brooder all night. Chances are even for a good outcome, which is  greatly improved since I fished it out of the water.

I suppose it has learned that it's can't swim - but I won't count on it.

Chicken's aren't very bright.

Kindle Author Interview: Dan Holloway

Long time friend of Jordan's Croft - Dan Holloway has an interview on Kindle Author. Follow this link to read it.

Yea! Dan!

I want to acknowledge Dan and his contributions to my journey - back in the early Authonomy days there were several long and in depth conversations about self-publishing and ways to make it work.

Dan started Year Zero with some like-minded friends, others started DIIARTS publishing and Lorraine started a blog called "Author's on Show." I sat on the fence and blogged about their adventures, knowing that it might be a good idea for me as well.

Then that Joe Konrath guy came along - with some serious numbers.

Authonomy has changed - it isn't the incubator of creativity that it used to be. I see that Team Autho is working to clean out the riff-raff because the site is still a magnet for newbie writers wanting to get a break.

Still I recall those conversations and the comradary we shared very fondly. It is always good to see others growing in this ever-changing business.

Best Wishes!

Kindle Author: Kindle Author Interview: Dan Holloway: "Dan Holloway, author of The Company of Fellows , discusses his book, his journey as a writer, and self-publishing on Kindle. DAVID WISEHAR..."

Short Story - 'Impressive Bravado'

I just released a short story - to Amazon. It wouldn't go through Pubit! So I distributed it through Smashwords today. The story has been up as a freebie on Smashwords since May 17, 11.

I did this just to see what would happen. It has blurbs for 'Let's Do Lunch' and 'Swallow the Moon' so it has advertising benefits. The best part is that it was a hit - 200 hits in the first 2 days and 35 copies downloaded. To date there have been 80 copies downloaded.

A side benefit was I sold a copy of 'Let's Do Lunch' on Amazon. The first sale in 2 1/2 months was a surprise. It also proves that it doesn't pay to give up.

'Impressive Bravado' is a light-hearted and satirical look at the horse whisperer phenomena. There is a grain of truth in it - as I encountered a version of Aquitania while out and about. She stuck in my mind - as such a character would. I expect to see more of her and Dr. Katie McCarty DVM as time goes on.

Deputy Sheriff Shallamon calls Katie McCarty DMV for her opinion of horse mutilations. Someone is targeting local stallions for unauthorized neutering. Anyone with the bravado to sneak into a barn and perform these operations has to be crazy. Is it barn rivalry or something even more sinister? (Short Story - 7k words)

I have the story at $.99 to generate a few sales while I'm in the final stages before 'Swallow the Moon' goes to the editor. Real life has interfered with my writing until I feel like I'm starting all over again. This time I'm starting small and working up to the launch. 

 Watch this space for a guest post.

Me and My Nook - Changing the Way I View Books

I was writing a review about 'Water for Elephants' when I realized just how profoundly my attitude towards books has changed.

"Oddly enough - I'm glad that I bought an e-book not a DTB book. I wouldn't want to have the paper book around. I have too many books that I love - it doesn't seem right to have one I merely like. When I think about that statement, I understand just how profound an effect e-books have had on me. Not only am I buying more books - but it's changed the way I look at DTBs."

What a change for a former book hoarder. My attitude towards books had a profound shift - I'm even looking at shelf space differently.

 I'm buying and reading at least 1 or 2 books a month. I used to read more - but was gleaning them from thrift stores and flea markets. I don't do that anymore. As more backlist hits the internet I'll be reading some old favorites.

How can I put this into words?

I am mentally dividing books into categories - snack-like books - read once and not again. Good stuff for entertainment - like 'Water for Elephants' a good read but not a 'keeper.' The higher quality books that I want to have on the shelves. Which right now means non-fiction books on writing, gardening and food economics. There is my collection of Nora Roberts, Elizabeth Peters and Janet Evonovich some in hardback  because I couldn't wait for the next book.

So here I am - does this make me a reformed book hoarder?

No - but my library is now for reference purposes. I can buy non-fiction without feeling guilty about the number of books on my shelf. Anything that lets me buy more books without having to find shelf space for them is a GOOD thing!

Vacation Catch-up Blues

There is only 1 bad thing about going on vacation - catching up when you get back.

I'm sure we've had more than 40 days and 40 nights of rain. Everything is sodden - even the horse stalls. Especially the horse stalls!

The herd of brats has taken to checking their stalls to see the condition before they go inside. They wouldn't even come in the other night during a storm because the stalls were still wet. Their stalls wouldn't be nearly as wet if they didn't pee soon as they walk in.

I've put rubber matting down for the old mare - which she doesn't like. But it is the only way to keep her stall even partially dry.

I have put in an official complaint to Mother Nature about the rain. It is supposed to go to New Mexico - they haven't had any rain in nearly 230 days!

Somehow - I don't think my complaint will help.

HAPPY CLIMATE CHANGE EVERYONE!

Hermit Kitty

Yes – it's true! Ms Kitty has gone hermit.


With my only connection to the interwebs a dialup connection (gasp!) I've holed up in the wilderness.

This drastic measure – yes, it's drastic YOU try to survive on a dialup connection – is solely to see if I can get some work done. I've been ADHD for so long that I'd given up hope of ever finishing ANYTHING.


However, I'm relieved to announce progress! I have finished and published "Impressive Bravado" a short mystery/satire about horses and the horse show industry. I did a DWS with it – finished it and threw it at Smashwords as a freebie.


Once I get some feedback on it, I might edit it a bit more. However, I doubt it. If I spend any more time on it, I'm going to have to charge for it.


Why did I do that? Two reasons both equally important at this point.


Advertising my skill as a story-teller. Unless people know that I can write, they will never buy my work. Somewhere along the line I've got to prove myself.


Ego (or self-esteem if you believe in Indigo children and other mythological creatures) as it's been more than 2 months since I've sold a single copy of "Let's Do Lunch" – I'm a hurting kitty.


"Impressive Bravado" is a short story in the Ms Kitty style of humor and satire that takes a poke at horse people in general and best of all – 'Horse Whisperers' in particular. It's already been 'bought' by 30 people since midnight last night.


I suppose the shit will hit the fan as soon as someone who knows horses reads it. I hope so – I need some free publicity.

Immigration Reform

As this country hollows out in the middle - as the boarders are slowly closing to drug traffic - it is time to address the issue of the underground economy.

I am the grandchild of immigrants - Ireland, Scotland, Hungary and Germany. There are several school of thought on this hot-button issue. I'm directly in the middle - where I seem to end up most of the time.

The Reactionary Right screams about 'Anchor Babies' and stolen jobs on one hand - while using immigrant housekeepers, nannies, gardeners, pool boys and caretakers. I've gotten used to this kind of blatant hypocrisy from the so-called 'upper class' even if it still turns my stomach.

I know people from all over the world. They have come because they WANT to be Americans. So did my grandparents - they LOVED this country. I don't see what the big deal is.

The birth rate has slowed down - here and in many countries around the world. People with access to birth control use it - because the middle class wants children but can't afford to raise them. People scream about 'generations' on welfare - yet perpetrate what amounts to a class system.

There is no justice in this - there is only insanity and chaos. Too many of the 'backroom' policies are counterproductive for long term stability - tax cuts for the rich, medicare cuts for the poor. Subsidies for corporations - benefit cuts for the unemployed and impoverished. The rich get richer and the poor get poorer - the middle class vanishes - who is America without a middle class?

I think we will be just another 'Third World' country unless the 'upper class' gets it's collective head out of it's ass and starts thinking LONG term. 

Bringing people stuck in the underground labor pool into the mainstream is a great idea. They will pay their taxes - and support the programs that help the poor become middle class. They bring new blood, new culture, new ideas and eager hands to this country in a time of stagnation.

Face it - we aren't talking about a few hundred thousand South Americans. We are talking about millions of Canadian, Irish, Hindu, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, British, Middle Eastern, European AND Latino immigrants. Doctors, Engineers, Software Developers and other skilled trades would be included with those who have a more limited education.

Put the engineers to work creating new technology to free us from the tyranny of fossil fuels. Fill the hollow middle with small farms and fresh faces. (Or give it back to the Native Americans who it rightfully belongs to...now there's a can of worms!)

This isn't a bi-coastal nation - there is a huge heartland crying for people to come and live. Immigrants have always come to fill the empty places in the economy - and give it a shot in the arm in the process.

Time to Eat My Words - The Lion is King

I have been royally ticked off at the present administration. I felt they had dropped the ball on the Kill Medicare bill. The budget debate, the ridiculous birther issues, the compromising with the Tea Party made me crazy - so I called our leader and chief a cowardly lion.

Then I saw the Correspondent's Dinner - heard the opening and realized that timing is a priceless quality that can't be faked. The opening display of his birth certificate - the humor, the priceless darts at those who had mocked him. His timing and delivery was as good as anything Jon Stewart EVER did.

I take all my barbs about 'cowardly lions' back on the basis of that performance alone. This is before Sunday night - before the President announced the demise of Bin Laden. Which makes all the joking at the Correspondent's Dinner vastly funnier - pointed and priceless, a 'Coup de grâce' to all the mockery this administration has endured.

I have to admit I never thought we would get Bin Laden. Now that he is no more - I look at the people who are trying to take credit for Obama's Victory and I get worked up all over again. Until I think about it - most of the people doing all the crowing have one little problem...they can't leave the country. If they do, and I think there are a dozen of them, they may find themselves up on charges for War Crimes.

Yes, the former administration's finest players are working hard to justify what they did in the court of public opinion - because International Law is waiting to pounce on them.

Justice comes in a lot of different forms. Some are more satisfying than others.

The Sun Has Returned!

I was starting to think we'd never see the sun again. Everything is soggy as noodles in week old soup. The pasture is more green and lush than ever - so I'm not going to complain too much. All the seed and manure spread over the winter paid off again.

The news from Chicken World is good - I've got eggs in the incubator, a hen on eggs and a duck on eggs. Soon there will be even more baby critters running around.

The first batch of chicks have turned into mini-chickens. I've tagged the ones most likely to be roosters for sale at the farmer's market. They are aggressive little tykes and take a great deal of pleasure beating on the hobbit chickens.

This is where it gets interesting - I have to separate the young roosters before they get on Mickey's nerves. He will kill them while they are small if there are too many running around. Sony would get them into the duck pond and drown them. (Sorry, but nature is not always pretty.)

I should get some picture posted of the flower beds. They are a weedy mess at the moment, but I'm working on them. The chickens are getting the debris, the horses are donating compost and I'm mulching the heck out of it in hope I can keep the weeds down.

The summer season has kicked off with the hanging of the wind-chimes. That sound will get me out of bed and onto the porch in the morning. With the lawn mowed and trimmed and a few flowers blooming - I can drink coffee in utter bliss.

Quick and Dirty Complaint

My return to Authonomy was a gesture of good faith. It appeared that the trolls and sock puppets had been taken care of. I brought my re-drafted novel and started up the charts in the old fashioned way. I was enjoying myself.

I was mistaken. There have been several attempts to have serious conversations about writing - but the trolls (who now have cutesy troll avis) ruin it by posting foul things like bad kids wanting Mom's attention.

Authonomy Sucks for Talking About Writing is the perfect example. Steve got 1 post - the trolls took over.

This is after the post where Team Authonomy laid down the law.

I have always thought that Authonomy was the perfect place to launch 'Swallow the Moon' because of the world-wide exposure. Right up until the last troll invasion it was working like a charm.

I've changed my mind.

Chicken World News

After last year's devastating losses the flock at Jordan's Croft at last has some good news. There are 22 new chicks from the incubator and 6 Buff Brahamas. Brahamas are known for their feathered feet and round bodies. I think of them as hobbit chickens.

 This is a nice Buff Brahama hen. Below is the rooster of the same breed. Pretty aren't they?

I was looking for a pretty chicken to paint.

I'd like to start painting again – so I wanted a pretty bird that wasn't zebra striped.

Another 24 eggs are due to hatch in 15 days. Since the last hatch was successful – it is likely this one will be as well. Only there'll be some cross-bred chicks – Rhode Island Red hens crossed with Mickey Finn – a cross-bred himself.

As soon as those eggs hatch I'm going to refill the incubator again. I haven't gone chicken crazy – I'm going to sell the youngsters at the farmer's market, keeping the largest hens for myself – and the prettiest for painting. Believe it or not – there is a huge market for chickens. People are looking for pretty hens for the back yard. I'm going to enjoy raising a slew of chicks.

These chicks are very tame; they come to me, perch on my hands and nip my fingers. I'm handling them daily, to keep them friendly. The balance of the chick-flock has already been transferred to Chicken World. They run and scratch inside all day and night. During the day they venture outside a bit – but the mud isn't any fun to scratch in. They like the thick bedding inside.

Things I wonder about –

I know very little about chicken genetics. I wanted to stick to one breed – but the Dominique breed didn't do very well here. The hens laid a nice amount of eggs – but didn't go broody until Smudge was 3 years old. The Barred Rocks I bought as Dominiques thrived – until the varmint killed them. The remnant of the flock could be called Dominiker as they are crossed between the Rocks and the Dominiques. These are what I'm going to stay with – at least until I get a better idea.

Mickey Finn is a Dominiker – a cross bred – the last two hens are also cross-bred. There is something called 'hybrid vigor' that occurs during cross-breeding. The offspring are more vigorous than either purebred parent. That's why there are so many cross-bred chickens – so what do you get when you cross two cross-bred chicken parents?

I'm going to try to get some more pictures and maybe some video of the chicks.

News from Chicken World

The Flock

Kiddy Pool Brooder

Chicken World Brooder

Today is another 'house and farm' day, not a writing day. However, I've pecked at this post until I got it done.

I'm moving a number of young chickens out of the kiddy pool/surround in the tack room to Chicken World – the coop inside the barn and outside pen complex. The little fools are flying out of their protected space. Once they hit the floor, they are fair game to the dogs and the varmints. I'm moving the flyer's in with the adults.
Crowded chicks, mixed ages even more so, will turn cannibal. The set up that works for 25 itty-bitty babies is WAY too small for them once they get a full set of feathers.

I have 4 week-old chicks with week-old chicks, the big ones need larger quarters, still sheltered but much larger. The little ones need more heat and better protection.

The problem is getting the adult flock to live in peace with the youngsters (without a mother hen to defend them). A mother hen is the Queen of the flock. She will beat the hell out of any creature who threatens her babies. My Barred Rocks are sweet tempered, but there are only 2 hens and the rooster. The others are 3 Comets and a Rhode Island Red – the Red hen is aggressive towards the chicks.

The rooster is the defender of his harem. This year I have Mickey Finn – son of Sony (killed by a fox), son of Sampson (who died of old age). Mickey is a cross between a Barred Rock and a Dominique. He's very good to the girls – most importantly this year – he's very fertile.

Since the turnover in the flock is so fast (I lost over 200 chickens last year) I band the chickens. I found it very frustrating to deal with 20 identical birds; I need a way to tell them apart. Therefore, the girls have blue bands and the roosters get a red band. Individuals have personalities although it can take 6 months or more for those to develop. The numbers help me get clued into behavior.

Smudge, band #2, was the mother hen. She was four last year. She would set some eggs in June and hatch a few chicks. If the duck hatched some, or if I bought a batch, Smudge would take them in as well. At one point last year she had 19 chicks. But she was killed when my own dogs got loose and all but three of that hatch were gone. Those birds are Micky, hens 22 and 23.

Seven was goofy – she would fly up to the loft then jump through the rafters to the other side of the barn for no apparent reason. She made a production out of it – squawking and flapping between jumps, never flying until she got to the tack room loft. Then she would fly down – a mere 3 feet difference between the rafters and the loft roof. Last year she went broody, taking over as the mother hen. She raised 16 babies until she was killed by a fox – that hatch was lost as well.

This year 22 seems to be the largest and darkest feathered of the hens. This means she has some Dominiker blood as those hens are much darker than Rocks. When I looked at the hatched babies – six are very dark, almost black. These are 22's babies, carrying the best of the Dominiker blood lines.

I had another rooster I called Rocky – he seemed to be Rhode Island Red and Dominiker. He was aggressive towards the drakes – who outweighed him by at least 5 pounds. Alas, the weasel got him this January. From the mess I saw – Rocky attacked the weasel first – it ripped his throat out. Then it killed the 2 hens he was defending. They were all in a heap, Rocky on the bottom.

This winter was rough – but with Spring comes the promise of renewal. Hatching chicks descended from my flock is a lot of fun. I hope to see this batch live their lives out in relative peace.

Spring Chickens

Last year was an awful year to be a chicken at Jordan's Croft. The losses were staggering – 200 eggs, 30 expensive purchased chicks, a dozen hatchlings, 20 adults and pullets.


The worst was this winter, when every night some kind of animal got into the coop and killed at least one of the flock. I lost the secondary rooster and all but 2 hens. I was attached to my flock; I raised them over the last 3 years. I bought a trap. I caught two cats, a dog and a rooster.


With some help from friends, we secured the coop, stopped the killing – after 2 weeks I figured it was safe to buy a couple more hens.


I've been collecting eggs since the first week of March. They started hatching a week ago. I picked up 9 chicks at the feed store. Now I have 20 chicks and a small clutch of eggs. The problem with hatching is at least half of the hatchlings will be roosters. So you need to hatch twice as many eggs as you want hens.

The difference this year, as I no longer have hens to raise the chicks, is that I set up a secondary brooder in a kiddy pool. This area is twice as large as the 55 gallon water trough I usually use.

Additionally, I bought a very large brooding box. It will be heated with a 100 watt bulb and put in chicken world. The youngsters will be able to run in and out of chicken world, yet have a warm place to go back to when they get chilled. The investment has been large, in order to get over the losses.


Maybe this will be a better year.

Trade to Indie – Indie to Trade

The publishing industry has just gotten twice as interesting.

New York Times Best Seller Barry Eilser turned down a $500k deal with one publishing company to Indie publish his work.

MEANWHILE:

Indie publisher Amanda Hocking accepts a $2mil deal with trade publishing company.

Clarification – Amanda's link goes to her blog, while Barry's goes to Dean Wesley Smith's blog. The reason for this is a long, rambling, (possibly drunken) blog-post that has a number of links out, one of which is pretty damn offensive.*

Romance author jumps ship.

Now this – Connie Brockway, seasoned and often published romance author has also decided to e-publish books her trade publishing company has rejected. Here is her reasoning, quoted from All About Romance:

"Oh, there's reasons a-plenty. First off, the contract I was offered was not good either monetarily and elsewise, the elsewise being in terms of eBooks. It doesn't take too much business acumen to look at recent eBook sales history and project that eBook readers aren't going to pony up the same amount for an eBook, that exists only as a virtual entity, as a paper book which costs substantially more to produce  (printing, shipping, warehousing, distribution, covers etc.) Or if they do, they aren't going to do it often. And if the publishers set the price too high, it's the authors that lose the most. I hate losing.

Of course, this was more than a business decision. Strictly as a writer, I'm squealing with joy at the notion of being completely free to write the stories I most want to read. And, I sincerely believe, that my readers most want to read."

She's not the first. If you really want to know who has jumped ship – Kindle Boards has an Indie Romance Author thread.

Note the last paragraph – "I'm squealing with joy at the notion of being completely free to write the stories I most want to read."

Well, I guess that she's kept her agent – and her options – open because she mentions Avon imprint, although she doesn't talk about her project with them.

These are signs the Great Publishing Divide between Trade and Indie market systems is being bridged, in both directions. Is this good news? Well, it depends on if you look at it as a reader or as a writer.

The Good News:

This is great news for readers. High quality stories from authors who know their job. They offer quality entertainment for – well, not cheap – but less than the price of a paperback book, available in the e-book format.

The Bad News:

Professional writers, who know the ins and outs of the business, are bringing their platforms – skill sets, contacts, readers and fans into the small pool of e-books.

This is going to blow the top off the cottage industry of e-pulp fiction. As more pros take the plunge, the quality of the books (and the higher prices) they bring to the table are going to force Indies to keep prices down.

The $.99 ghetto is just what I've been saying all along – e-pulp fiction and dime/dollar novels. Poor writing is going to sink those who can't keep it up. The book hoarding readers aren't going to review the books they never read. Word will never spread – unless the writing is top-notch.

Well – there you have it. A market update – pros and cons on both sides of the Great Publishing Divide.

Stay tuned. Heaven only knows what's going to happen next week.



*Unless you want to see a monkey sexually abuse a frog.

E-Book Pricing - Part IV

The writer-blogs continue to buzz like stirred-up bees over e-book pricing. Kindle Boards, Authonomy, Nook Boards, Newbies' Guide to Publishing, Business Rusch, and Write 2 Publish - everyone has taken on the topic in an effort to figure it out. I've posted about it several times.

The last time I posted about pricing was to cave in to the pressure to sell "Let's Do Lunch" for $.99 in the hope the drop would bring on sales. My goal was to get 100 copies of my novel onto e-readers in 2011. Instead, sales on Amazon came to a screeching halt.

That goals was reached this week when I had Smashwords put LDL into it's promotion catalog for free. Readers (or book collectors) downloaded 72 copies. Adding that to the 30 copies already sold - I'm over 100 copies in less than 3 months for the year.

Reaching a goal requires re-evaluation.

*** UPDATE ***
Taking all sorts of things into consideration - including the cost of advertising, covers and editing for the new book - I raised the price of 'Let's Do Lunch.'

Writing is a business - the cost of doing business is pretty high these days. Just printing a single copy costs $20 with ink and paper. Internet, where I spend the bulk of my time, is $60 a month. As every adult knows, that's the tip of the iceberg.

Now I'm back to work on the next book.

More posts on e-book pricing:

e-Book Pricing I

e-Book Pricing Part II

e-Book Pricing Part III

e-Book Pricing Part V (coming soon)

Read an e-Book Week

I've put "Let's Do Lunch" in the Smashwords promotion that ends today.

All I can say is Holy Sh!t. As of 3:30 pm there have been 50 books 'sold' to customers. These people are NOT sampling - they are taking the book!

I've broken the 100 copy barrier! YAHOO!!!!!!!!

Even if the majority of these people are collectors, not readers - this has been the biggest week of 'sales' yet!

About the 100 copy barrier - the common wisdom is that a self-published book will never sell more than 100 copies. However this is backed by Nielson Book scan claiming the 'average' trade published book only sells 18 copies.

So with 115 or so books sold - I've broken that barrier and I'm SO happy about it. The day isn't over yet, I think the sale runs until midnight EDT.

Get your copy of "Let's Do Lunch" while it is still free.

Another Cover for 'Lets Do Lunch'

This is a cute little cover that Bradley Wind did for LDL that I have never used.

I thought I should post this and see what people think.

I think my name is too small, but I like the rest of it.

 I think it captures the theme of the book very well.

A Vastly Amusing Look Back at April 2009

It seems like a million years ago that Mary W. Walters wrote her "Talent Killers" post for The Militant Writer. Two years and 420 comments later - she's still getting hits and comments. I know because I get the RSS feed.

I'm absolutely positive that she didn't realize that we were on the cusp of the e-book revolution. Naturally she (and thousands of writers like her) were frustrated, in stead of a clear path to the Big Six of publishing - there was a locked gate. No one had a clue at the time but the publishing industry 'gate-keeping' system was about to be blown out of the water.

Ta! Da! 

Look where we are today. Times have changed to the point where a well-known mid-list writer with a sweet deal on the table will look at 25% of e-book sales as a deal breaker. Instead of leaping on the deal, the writer said to his agent 'Are you kidding? I can publish this myself and do better.'

Exit writer, door closed.

Publisher is out 75% of potential sales and agent out 20% of writer's cut in commission.

There are still authors who will go to any lengths to get rejected by an agent. There are still agents who will MAKE writers jump through hoops and go to all kinds of contortions to get rejected. Occasionally there will be hook-ups, contracts and even sales.

However, most of the writers I know have decided they are better off with DIY publishing.

I don't know if the rise of e-pulp fiction has impacted the bottom line of agents or publishers. I don't know if the slush pile has been affected - there may be no difference. I'm not even sure that it matters in the long run - except to the writers who have turned rejection into cash.

Readers seem to be happy - they have access to cheap books in hard times. E-readers are a great investment. I love mine.

I'm reading more than ever, cheap books, free books - first run books that I could never afford in hard-cover. Books by friends in the UK and Australia that I never would have seen otherwise.

The fact that I got a couple of bucks from both Amazon and Barnes & Noble didn't hurt either.

PS - this is a link to the Smashwords blog. Mark is all fired up about the 'Publishing Revolution.' I think you will enjoy it.

A Word About Sales and Other Stuff

Okay, I admit, more than one word.

Let's start with the good news - we've had the first Amazon UK sale of "Let's Do Lunch" in February. Smashwords sampling is over 80 - I expect it to be more than 100 by the end of the quarter. Total sales for January = 16, February = 14.

Barnes and Noble is my best market. I sell twice as many books there. Okay, so that means merely 8 or 9 sales per month. That triples my sales per month. The bottom line is that we've sold more copies of LDL in two months than in 6 months of 2010.

Ya, can't beat that with a stick - but who'd want to?

I replaced the Amazon cover of "Let's Do Lunch" to my 'way-back-when' cover. It's been 13 days since my last sale, it seems a change is in order.

Alas, I don't see myself putting - ahem - beefcake* on the cover. That's not the point of the story.(I am assured that covers including nude male torso shots sell vastly more copies than scenery covers. See the note at the bottom for the 'industry' term for such covers.)

I'm working on the cover I want - a photo of the building. Cropping the photo proved to be a challenge - the work-around frustrated me so, I had to set it aside for a few days.


Changes in the industry

Another mid-list writer has taken his work off the market - take a look at this post on Publisher's Weekly. The post in a nutshell: Mid-list writer had deal on the table, he asked about e-rights and was told the split would be 75% to 25% of net. He then asked if he was getting the 75% - however the answer was 'no.' He declined the offer, deciding to self-publish instead of taking a bad deal on his e-rights.

Why is this important? E-books don't 'go out of print' therefore he had signed away his e-rights FOREVER. While a single e-book title grossing $1,000 a month would be a pittance for the publishing company. For the writer this would be a substantial slice of month income.

I don't know of many people who would sneeze at an extra grand a month. Do you?


If you haven't discovered the Business Rusch by Kristine Katherine Rusch at least take a look at this one. At the risk of sounding hopelessly sexist - she has a woman's eye for navigating the turbulent waters of this changing industry. She doesn't browbeat the reader, she presents information and opinions in a common sense fashion while keeping her options open. (I say that's female because it seems much more sensible to keep your options open, instead of burning bridges. Burning bridges is a guy thing - like bungee-jumping.)

Or maybe it's the fact that I agree with her - Big Publishing is hardly dead. They are in a position to talk terms with the e-vendors and take advantage of e-books - with access to one hell of a back-list. After all, 1 book selling 500 copies a month times 100,000 (or more) books is NOT a pittance.

Last but not least

* I find the term 'man-tittie' offensive. Puleeezz ladies - some class!

What is the Purpose of Authonomy?

There is some confusion about the purpose of Authonomy. Someone has mistaken it for a mere hang-out for wannbe writers. That is SO not the case.

First, human nature is that people stick with people they like. It is called support - which carries the connotation of "carry."

I was in ABNA when I came to Authonomy - I saw a book that I felt in LOVE with - 'Catch a Falling Star.' I joined Authonomy to back that book, and left it on my shelf until it hit the ED. HC panned the book. It was painful to watch. But the author did not let that stop her. When the book hit the Kindle Store, people went nuts over it. (As soon as I have time to read it again, I'll buy it.)

Isn't that what Authonomy is about? You read something, you love it, you support it there with a shelving and a comment. Then when it hits the Market place, you support it, buy it and maybe even review it?

I've had many people there (first time around) say they would buy my book, if they could. I'm back to launch a second book - there, then in the market place.

It is the logical progression of this site - we come in, edit our books with the support of other writers and either hit the ED, get picked up by an agent, get signed with a publisher or self-publish it as pulp fiction.

What that poor young man doesn't understand is the purpose of Authonomy - TO LAUNCH BOOKS. Once HC gets an idea of what the market REALLY wants (by watching books succeed in the market) then they shift their direction to signing books that SELL.

Isn't that what we are really there for? To find the cream of the crop and help it rise as high as it can???

Why the f@#k go there if not for that?

The only thing this poor young person has discovered is that Authonomy WORKS.

Silly child, wake up and smell the coffee.

Writing is an art - (rolling eyes) but publishing is a business.

Wisconsin - WTF?

I'm utterly disgusted with the idiot Governor from Wisconsin.

I'm starting to believe there IS  a vast Right-Wing conspiracy. I don't think that it is the Trilateral Commission. But there's a dead fish in the pantry - we all smell it.

What has happened to this country? When has there been open warfare on the middle class? This turkey has cut taxes for the rich, so now he's going to mess with TEACHERS?

When the biggest problem in the US is LACK of education - why cut the teachers? Why is it in the best interest of the Republican Party to stop education? Because they can afford private schools, so now public schools aren't needed? 

I'm so glad I didn't have kids - this country is FUBARed.

"Dark Harbor" – Paranormal Pulp Fiction

As Launch Day gets closer and closer – I can't help but think about the reaction to my paranormal pulp fiction "Swallow the Moon" once word reaches 'back home' about the book. This is a case where Face Book is not my friend. I'm hooked into a discussion group with people from 'Bula, some of whom may be offended with my description of the city.

The "Dark Harbor" paranormal series takes place in a very real, very dysfunctional Rust Belt city, my birthplace, Ashtabula, Ohio. I call it a "God-forsaken place" – it is a place where the fabric between the Earth and Hell has become tattered and 'things' are breaking through.

I suppose that's enough to piss some people off right there.

Of course, if the series catches on, there are going to be even more people laughing their asses off. Some people in the Harbor are going to love it, others – well a sense of humor is a rare thing in parts of 'Bula.

I would like to be a fly on the wall when some innocent tourist walks into the Iroquois Club and asks the bartender if s/he ever heard of a book called "Swallow the Moon" and are there really rooms for rent upstairs? (evil cackles)

You know, this is the kind of thing where I'm going to have to take the book to Create Space just so I can go down to Bridge Street and have a book signing in the metaphysical shop. I'll hope that the ghosts of Harborites past will join me.

I know they will appreciate it.

Pulp Fiction - a Bit of Brainstorming

Will the "Pulp Fiction" moniker replace "Indie Author" in the minds of - er - well - Indie writers?

I've always been taught that you can't DO a negative. If I say to someone "I'm NOT a trade published writer....blah, blah, blah." They will reply with "Then who ARE you?" I'm stuck looking stupid "the hell if I know."

Andre Jute - this is all your fault. If you hadn't started that post on Kindle Boards Cream rising I wouldn't have started brainstorming all this stuff about awards which led me to branding (whatcacallit is a lousy name for a genre) - which led me to getting my back up about the "Death of Culture" crack that....nevermind.


This isn't so much for my own work as it is for Mother's stories. There are so many that nothing really ties them together - except there is a general style to them. Mom loves it. "I write pulp fiction," she said at the dentist office yesterday. The girl got it.

I posted a cleaned up version of the first post to Nookboards (crickets!) then Kindleboard where it got a number of responses. I wasn't the first to use it, but I am the first to suggest wholesale adoption of it.

Let's make it OUR label. That way I can say "I wrote a dime novel called "Let's Do Lunch" that sells for $.99 on Kindle and Nook." It sounds catchy. Descriptive, positive, and vaguely qualifying.

More on this subject:

The New Age of Pulp Fiction?

Pulp Fiction II: The Rise of the Penny Dreadful

Pulp Fiction II – the Rise of the Penny Dreadful

For my next trick – I say that because we are merely playing with words – trying to put the Indie e-publishing craze and the rollercoaster ride that is pricing into some kind of historical context.

First a short history lesson, for that we shall go back to our friend Wikipedia for a definition of the "Penny Dreadful."

"A penny dreadful (also called penny horrible, penny awful,^[1]
penny number and penny blood) was a type of British
fiction publication in the 19th century that usually featured lurid serial stories appearing in parts over a number of weeks, each part costing a penny. The term, however, soon came to encompass a variety of publications that featured cheap sensational fiction, such as story papers and booklet "libraries." The penny dreadfuls were printed on cheap pulp paper and were aimed primarily at working class adolescents.^[2]
For the sake of this argument, I'm going to say that the 21^st century 'Penny Dreadful' is a full-length novel that sells for $.99 to $1.99.

That doesn't mean the writer can't make money. Sell them puppies as long as they're hot. After all, if the author is making a couple grand a month – cry all the way to the bank.

Because that's not saying the next book won't sell at a higher price. We aren't making judgment calls about the writers – just the books. If common wisdom is correct, the 'average author' will turn out five or more books (or a million words) before they 'break out' and their work takes a quantum leap forward.

The writer can always move to the next level, – a 'dime novel' sells higher – $2.99 or a bit more. This may sell more copies of the first book. The point is that sales and income will rise at the higher price. I see authors all over Kindle boards planning how to make the transition to 'dime novels.'

'Slicks' are the next step up, Mid-list writers will most likely find a home somewhere around the $2.99 to $3.99 level. They are recycling previously published work, already have fans and readers – so they may start at $3.99 where the 'average jane' author will need to 'break out' to sell well at $3.99.

Then there are the 'super-slicks' who have their own pricing structures. Some can sell short fiction at $2.99 for 10k words. Why not? They have the advertising budgets and turn out a professional product. They probably know who their readers are and have no problem targeting them in the most efficient manner.

Remember, too, there are e-publishing companies who have a pricing structure by length that has worked for them for 10 years or more. There is no reason that they can't carry on. They have a professional products and hot markets like romantica/erotica.

So we have a series of terms to describe this mushrooming e-market, nicknames that look back fondly to the glorious Golden Age of Pulp Fiction.

Pulp fiction – Short stories & novellas that sell for $.99. Also a blanket term for any work self-published to an e-book vendor.

Penny Dreadfuls – Pulp Fiction novels that sell like crazy for $.99 to $1.99.

Dime Novels – Pulp Fiction novels priced from $2.99 to $3.99, written by Indie authors.

Slicks – Novels or backlist by Midlist authors self-published in the $3.99 range.

Super Slicks – Work by e-publishing companies that have their own price structure. Short stories can start as high as $2.99, for 10k words.

More on this subject:

The New Age of Pulp Fiction

Pulp Fiction: A Bit of Brainstorming

The New Age of Pulp Fiction?

Welcome to the New Age of Pulp Fiction – courtesy of e-reader technology and digital self-publishing.

How many people remember the "Golden Age" of Pulp Fiction? Okay, maybe no one remembers 20^th century history. I wasn't born yet, but at least I had heard of it. Just so you don't have to google it – I'll post the Wikipedia definition of Pulp Fiction:

Pulp magazines (often referred to as "the pulps"), also collectively known as pulp fiction, refers to inexpensive fiction magazines published from 1896 through the 1950s. The typical pulp magazine was seven inches wide by ten inches high, half an inch thick, and 128 pages long. Pulps were printed on cheap paper with ragged, untrimmed edges.
The name pulp comes from the cheap wood pulp paper on which the magazines were printed. Magazines printed on better paper were called "glossies" or "slicks." In their first decades, they were most often priced at ten cents per magazine, while competing slicks were 25 cents apiece. Pulps were the successor to the penny dreadfuls, dime novels, and short fiction magazines of the 19th century. Although many respected writers wrote for pulps, the magazines are best remembered for their lurid and exploitative stories and sensational cover art. Modern superhero
comic books are sometimes considered descendants of "hero pulps"; pulp magazines often featured illustrated novel-length stories of heroic characters, such as The Shadow, Doc Savage, and The Phantom Detective.
Cheap stories – often lurid and poorly edited – easy to get, easy to discard; what does that sound like? The modern Indie e-book has been touted as the 'slush pile come to life' by the 'trade' publishing establishment.

I say the Indie Publishing masses could do much worse than embracing the label of 'Modern Pulp Fiction.'

Why not?

"At their peak of popularity in the 1920s and 1930s, the most successful pulps could sell up to one million copies per issue."
Fiction novels for $.99 from Indie authors are very much like the 10-cent magazines. Your mileage – or quality – will vary greatly from author to author and book to book. Already there are lines drawn – certain authors continue to sell books at a higher price. While others have their sales stall at the $2.99 break point.

Whether or not people actually read $.99 books is a good question. However, they do buy these books – often thousands a month. In that case – why should the author care if the book is read or not? Cry all the way to the bank. Of course, some people don't feel that way.

"Literature and culture per se would die if every writer wrote only to satisfy a market bowing to instant monetary gratification."- Authonomy Author

Well, that tidbit of British snobbery came from an Authonomy wannabe who couldn't be bothered with something as – common? – tedious? – as marketing their work.

If only I could have stopped myself from replying:

That sounds very British.

Culture doesn't pay the rent - but if you are independently wealthy you can be as literary and cultured as you like.

Me, I have bills to pay and elderly parents to take care of.
No wonder the Brits hate the Irish. We insist on being – practical – even when it comes to 'Literature and Culture per se' by bringing filthy money into it. How ghastly and common of me.

Is there a puking smiley?

How does this tie into pulp fiction? The distinction between 'literature' the art and 'story-telling' entertainment is the difference between a 'trade' published, $12.99 e-book and a KDP, $.99 pulp fiction e-book.

This is a wild and wonderful free for all – that may kill off 'Literature and Culture per se' but WFT – it's about time that mid-list and Indie writers had some fun and made some money.

The point is that pulp fiction gave a lot of writers their start. They made their living pounding on typewriters – entertained thousands, or even millions, of people. They put smiles on people's faces, and became a beloved part of pop(ular) culture long after the books themselves were forgotten.

Mom just recalled a box of pulp westerns in her attic that they read as kids. My aunts Joyce and Elizabeth read these pulps and played "Cowboys and Indians" so many times that they ended up with life-long nicknames. Joyce became "Steve" and Elizabeth became my beloved Aunt 'Dillon.' I was a teenager before I discovered that Aunt Dillon had another name.

That's not art, that's family history.

Guess which one is more important to me.

Got that in one, didn't ya?

Pulp Fiction II: The Rise of the Penny Dreadful

Pulp Fiction a Bit of Brainstorming

Recap of 2010 - Setting Goals for 2011

As the month comes to a close - I have to draw a sigh of relief. Real Life has settled down - for the moment. My project for the month - that had nothing to do with writing - was to get my antique Western Union clock running on time. I've had it running a few times, but always loosing time. This time I used 2 sets of 2 D cells - and he's running like a champ!

Mom and I are working on getting her stories sorted and ready to publish. I transferred  her index to a spreadsheet - I have the title, word count, page count, and a brief(!) subject. I also copied that index, tweaked it and added some vendor columns so I can track the date published to each vendor.

It appears that sales of "Let's Do Lunch" will end up at 12. Most of them sold at $3.25. Since I dropped the price to $.99. I will not change prices again. No matter what sales of "Let's Do Lunch" do - the price is the price until August 2011.

I also have a title for the second book in the 'Dark Harbor' series. So Book #4 is simmering in the background. The theme has changed a bit - 'the sins of the mother' has replaced 'he wants to be a rock star.' Quite an improvement.

Editing has stalled for "Swallow the Moon" I'm now wigging out over the book cover and the number of comma errors in the first chapter. The cover needs COLOR I'm worried that it won't stand out.


Also of concern are covers for the Ice Road Anthology stories. There is no way we can afford to hire out 220-odd covers. There are a dozen volumes to the anthology. What a project! I'm not sure how to tackle something this large. Plus it's not like Mom can work 8 or 12 hour days until we get this done. Not an option - though we will give it a couple hours a day.

Finally, I'm avoiding Authonomy for a few days. There are still some interesting looking books, but I need to get "Swallow the Moon" published before I do any more reading.