A Rant in Geek Speak

I won't be the least upset if you don't read this. I haven't indulged in a good rant in a while, this one is all about data collection and so forth. Boring as hell, so sorry.

I was looking at my sales data, trying to make some sense of it. Lot's of luck - it's a nightmare.

There are 3 vendors, with sub-vendors, 12 months, a series of years to come, and an unlimited number of stories. There's no freaking way to make it fit in a single spreadsheet.

You know why? Because the crazy data is 3-dimensional not 2-dimensional.

Yes - I know - multiple spreadsheets within a book. Ha! Divided by what exactly? Vendor? Each one has a problem with it – watch this.

Spreadsheet sales by vendor. We have months across the top (X) and each writing project across the side (Y). So where does the sub-vendor information go? Oops! Can't track sales by market.

Take two – Months across the top and vendor with sub-vendor information down the side. So where do we break it down by writing project? (SUPER clunky, this one, though I will need it for the IRS.)

Take three – each project gets their own spreadsheet. (Right, like I have time for that!) and each sale is broken down by price and royalty rate.

PRICE? Royalty rate? Wait a cotton-pickin' minute! I gotta know each sale for that. Not just Monthly sales and and vendor but the dang prices (which vary) and royalty rates?

Look, you want to crunch these numbers properly or guess at how much money you lose every time you put a work 'on sale' for $.99 – or worse yet for free? Average earnings counts in the real world, chickybaby, so don't go a 'art-Tist' and squirm out of it!

Buck up and Geek this properly.

Must have coffee! Coffee and bad Chinese food!

NO! Too early for Chinese.

Okay, Coffee AND chocolate! Put it in the coffee!

(trots off to raid the Godiva.)

Did I ever tell you that I buy Godiva chocolate at the Rineyville Feed Store?

(trot, trot, trot)

AHHHHHH!!!! HE ATE THE GODIVA! AHHHHHH!!!!!!

(Sobbing noises)