Jive and the Turkey

A couple weeks ago I purchased a couple young turkey poults. Oddly enough they came with a tattered looking game hen. As usual, there were losses. Only one turkey is still alive, and he has his ninja foster-mother to thank.

Anyway, I call her Jive (70's slang = Jive Turkey.) She hangs out in the farthest corner of the barn, or takes Turkey into one of the stalls. High strung and paranoid, it doesn't look like I'll be handling her or Turkey any time soon. She GROWLS at me when I come into the barn. Sounds like a good sized dog - scared the hell out of me the first time I heard it.


Jive's a game (fighting) chicken which means she's aggressive - attack my feet and bite like a pitbull aggressive. I had to punt her to get her to let go - I'm lucky to still have my toes. I have some bite marks on my ankles from when I surprised her. I started carrying my chicken stick to ward off attacks.

The other chickens are wary of her. (How's that for an understatement?) The cats cringe when they see her coming. I'm selling tickets to her next encounter with Trouble. I'd make some money betting on her.

My rooster, Mickey Finn, tried to make up to her, you know, add her to the harem. I didn't see what happened, (it was that fast) but he lost feathers in the process. Rejection sucks even when you're a rooster.

He did give her species-challenged offspring a long, hard look. Then kinda shook it off. I'm sure he figured having a young-un that ugly made her a bit touchy. He's offered her food, which she's refused. But she runs back and forth when he gets close as if she's flustered. (Oh, no he's looking and my feathers are a mess! Help! Go away! No - wait - no - go way.)

Any woman who's ever seen a hot guy with her hair in curlers (or her legs unshaved) can relate.

What bothers me is that the old drake, Pinto, follows her around with lust in his heart. Well, I think it's lust, but he might just be trying for a turkey sandwich. He ate one of her babies already. If I ever get another drake, Pinto's going to go for Chinese. (If you know what I mean.) However, all his rivals have mysteriously vanished, not even leaving feathers behind.

I think he cut a deal with the foxes.

What a skank.