Thinking About Local Markets

It's a small world - in many ways the Internet has made the world much smaller. My e-friends are scattered all over the globe. The readers of this blog are everywhere. (Which may be a blessing and a problem when the Great Migration takes place.)

I've been concentrating on marketing to e-reader owners all over. I've had some success, the numbers are trending up. What I haven't done is look to my own backyard for readers.

Now that I'm on the Square, things look different. I have hundreds of people I can see and talk to, face to face. People I never thought of as my customers, but who would be interested in a book written about a local restaurant. I've done no outreach to them at all.

Last weekend I did a sales push. I talked to a dozen people FtF and sent out many tweets and re-tweets. I even dropped a Smashwords code on Twitter to see if anyone would pick up the book.

I sold 4 books - and I know who I sold them to - FtF customers.

I wasted an enormous amount of time tweeting and re-tweeting. Time I could have spent talking to people who live around here. The shear volume of tweets ensures that some will be missed - unless you sit with the software open and read EVERY tweet.

The MAIN drawback: Twitter is just another Indie Writer's Ghetto.

I had nearly 200 followers in a couple of weeks - they were all other writers or services geared to writers.

Except the Restaurant software company who advertised 'The Best POS' software. That cracked me up!

Twitter is pushed as a marketing tool - some people say it is THE Marketing Tool of the 21st Century. Everyone has an agenda - and expects others to get in line.

Frak that - I've got more work to do that I can handle already. Learning yet another fast-paced culture is too much of a pain to do right now.

The Kindle and Nook boards are filled with people who push the Dollar Dreadful - which is a wonderful thing for readers on a budget. But quality varies radically from book to book. The downward pressure on prices has made it nearly impossible to sell a book on those boards at a reasonable price.

But for the locals - $3.50 for 'Let's Do Lunch' was a BARGAIN. Even $4.95 for 'Swallow the Moon' was welcomed as a reasonable price for an interesting story.

Every writer is different - we must all play to our strengths. So for now, I will look to the local FtF marketplace for my readers.

While I'm doing that - I'm going to be re-building my web platform. (Re-building or refining? Not sure, taking it to the next logical level for sure.)

Stepping Up

Marketing is a strange business.

I've been trying to form a marketing plan - and I find that I've got a couple of pieces missing.

These aren't large pieces, but they have made my marketing efforts piecemeal, instead of straight forward and seamless. I've got books here and there, this blog, Face Book, Twitter, myspace, wordpress, Goodreads AND the books.

So putting up a webpage, which I can do myself, would be a tremendous hassle. (Yeah, just what I need, another item on my already-full plate.) I can't imagine trying to sit down and do 15 or 20 hours of coding on top of the Uttter Chaos my Real Life has become.

So, I need a splash page, or a web-site of some sort to get all this organized so people can find my books and my links all in one place.

The "Luridly Controversial" K. A. Jordan

Found on Goodreads Robust thread: The Nastiness of the Boards and Genre Dominated by Women.
"Have you seen Kat Jordan's luridly controversial analysis of the nastiness of the boards and genre dominated by women?"

OMG - here we go!

I have been outed - once and for all time - by the 'Man of All Trades' Andre Jute. (In case you are asking "Andre who?" here is the link to his 'Cool Main Press.') and a short bio.

Andre Jute was trained as an economist and a psychologist at various universities of erstwhile sound reputation. He’s been in and out of publishing all his life as a writer, typographer, editor, publisher and management advisor. Copyright © Andre Jute 2011

It is hardly lurid! I'm not stupid enough to insult the entire female gender for the sins of a few Queen Bees. The problem is that I understand them in a left-brained fashion that sounds godawful.
It started innocently enough.

Andre wrote this little number: 'Have the "Luvvies*" Taken Over Books?' Where he (unfairly to my mind) skewered a post by Stacia Kane Being Published Changes Everything.
(I'm sorry, the train of thought leads us to a large number of links.)

Stacia Kane said this:

“The fact is, when you decide to become a writer you give up some of your personal freedoms. When you sell your first book you give up even more. There’s no getting around that, and there’s no changing it. You can no longer say exactly what you think exactly the way you think it at all times. You can no longer assume that only the people you’re familiar with are reading your blog or your tweets. You no longer have the luxury of an opinion, honestly, on a lot of things.”

To boil this down into the nutshell of Internet ManSpeak: "Drink the damn Kool-ade and shut the frak up."

I agree with her, 100% percent. There is just one problem with this - I can't do it. Never have been able to.

So when Jute replied: "That’s a state of affairs that should embarrass anyone who calls himself a writer.

A writer is an intellectual.

The best intellectuals are measured by the number and stature of their enemies.

A writer, and particularly a novelist, is simply not worth the name if she creeps around fearing she’ll offend an agent — and agent! a sales representative! — or some other thin-skinned writer incapable of debating points robustly." 

I thought then (and think now) he was working from a Male Dominated industrial model that is as obsolete as the Literary Fiction culture of the 1960's. (Which did produce genius like Harlan Ellison, a man who still measures himself by the number and stature of his enemies.)
Today's Trade Publishing culture is different. 
"In a Female dominated business – ‘Fitting In Without Making Waves’ is a requirement. Otherwise the rest of the ‘tribe’ turns on the interloper and refuses to let her in. 

Alpha Males will work together with common goals, they growl and snarl at each other and are okay with that.

Queen Bees kill their rivals."

Look at Mary W. Walter's "Talent Killers" post that got her permanently blacklisted by ALL agents. Of course she's Indie now - but at the time it was one of those "You Will Never Work In The Publishing Industry Again" events. (My link to her blog goes RIGHT to that post.)

I'll bet that men like Jute and Ellison inslutted  (my slip is showing) insulted people right and left, only to work with them a year or so later. (Well, maybe not in Jute's case - rumor has it there were Hit Squads after him.)

The point is two men can fight and be friends ever after. Two women fight and it is poison in the Kool-ade. To quote Kane again: "I hate to sound like a bitch here, but why should I help you, in that case?"

If the story had been "The Empress's New Clothes" it would have ended with the entire village put to death to save face.

That's a fact, Jack! - I mean Jute.

Ms Kitty

Here's a link started by some poor soul who should have just drank the fraking kool-ade.

OH MY - Look who popped up just before the thread got shut down. (Gales of Giggles.)

"Impressive Bravado" - Horse Mystery

Allow me to introduce Dr. Katie McCarty - fresh out of Ohio State University School of Veterinary Medicine. She has her first 'real' practice as part of "White Horse Haven Clinic."

Dr. Katie McCarty DVM, is called in to assess the 'mutilation' of a horse. She finds a crazy woman who calls herself a 'Horse Whisperer' running a barn full of teen-aged girls and young stallions. This is a recipe for disaster - luckily Dr. McCarty's there when it strikes.

I don't know why I haven't announced the release of this short story. I just noticed that many of the little links and fussy little things I did to promote the others has simply not been done for this.

Click here for 'Impressive Bravado' on Smashwords

Click here for 'Impressive Bravado' on Kindle.

Click here for 'Impressive Bravado' on Barnes and Nobel.

Everybody Has An Opinion

This is just plain crazy-wrong. You know what I mean?

Don't writers get enough crap from people - now the guys who do graffiti are at it.

I feel like Rodney Dangerfield - writers don't get no respect.

E-Books - Marketed as Gift Cards

http://www.rosannedingli.com/scratchie-card.phpThere are many, many reasons why Dean Wesley Smith and Kristine Katherine Rusch are my heroes.

This is only one of them.

Dean and Kris came up with the idea of using gift cards to sell e-books to bookstores. They posted it for everyone to share - see the link to the post. Click here for details. 

Over on Linked-In there are several of us on Laphroaig Writers (Laphroaig is an obscure brand of Scotch) who kick around ideas. In fact this little group has gone from e-publishing clueless to e-published and experimenting with ALL kinds of things. It's been wonderful fun.


Right now, Laphroaig writers are working with these gift cards. Some are using them for sales, others as giveaways. I want to offer samples locally during the upcoming vendor's nights on the Square. I might as well hock books AND e-book gift cards.

September 1, 2011 update.

We have found alternatives to the plastic gift-card. Paper card stock works just as well. Just rub a little candle wax over the code before you paint it. 

This is an example: Click here for scratch card.

This Space For Rent

No, that's just the title of this blog.

However, I have found a cubby in an old hotel in Elizabethtown where I will take my writing. I'm just too easily distracted here at the house.

Going to the library helped a great deal, last year. So I'm going to take it one step further. The goal to start working a 9 to 5 day, at a desk, in an office.

We'll see if this helps make me more productive. And if not, I'll be back in the groove to get a job.

Freebie Friday At Webbie's

This week at Webbiegrrl's Writing, my favorite one-woman blizzard is hosting 'Freebie Friday.'

And for the FIRST TIME EVER - "Swallow the Moon" is being offered for FREE.

Catch the code on her page here and take a look at the other books she's showcasing this week.

And, as always, if you'd like to support HER there is a link for that as well. Click here for the link to "Coming Home Dicky's Story" a post-apocalypse Rom-Com.

Jobs And The Economy - A Rant

The sad fact is that America has the best government money can buy. And buying it is getting easier and easier all the time. As the limits on corporate campaign spending are shunted aside, the 'We-are-people' corporate Frankenstein monsters are dumping barrels of cash into the political system.

More and more often, I'm seeing things like this – Big Corporations whining for tax breaks on billions of dollars made elsewhere. Click here for the latest. This is money they want to pay to the top-tier executives – billions in bonus money – but can't because they would have to declare this money as earnings and pay taxes.

(Insert violin music here.)

The manufacturing boom of the 20^th Century was a one-time-deal.

Sorry to say it, but it's the truth. The Age of Steel is over. As the national economy continues to unravel, and it will, people are going to have to go back more than 100 years to rebuild our crumbling nation.

Detroit, Ashtabula and Braddock are three population centers who illustrate this best. Braddock has been abandoned and is falling down. Ashtabula is getting there, fast.

Detroit has hundreds of square miles of abandoned buildings. Neighborhoods were torn down, a 'Green Belt' of sorts is struggling to emerge from the ruins. Most importantly, a core group of people are going into business for themselves.

Let that be a lesson for all of us.

At one time (1800's) the American Dream was to come to America and open a shop of some kind. Breweries, clothing stores, tailor shops, butcher shops, grocery stores, hot dog stands, mercantiles, cabinet shops, boat builders and that's just off the top of my head.

People didn't come to America to work for someone else.

They came to work for themselves.

How times have changed, eh?

Now people in America haven't a clue how to operate a business.

They just want a JOB.

ANY job will do.

My beef with the current mentality is that ONLY a big corporation counts as 'a person' and gets pampered and petted. People don't really count any more. We just get higher taxes and higher medical costs (when the toxic waste of Corporate America had a hand in making us sick.)

The GOP touts their helping 'Job Creators' but what they mean are people rich enough to afford a nanny, a housekeeper, a gardener and maybe a poolboy to help keep their McMansion looking good.

That's not going to change. Congress and the Senate have been bought and are smart enough to STAY bought. They will not betray their corporate Masters. State level government is the same, just a smaller scale.

So, we are looking at a nation in decay. Infrastructure, like roads, bridges, power lines, sewers, rail road tracks, schools  and hospitals are only used by humans. The non-breathing corporations (click here for explanation) who run the country don't need anything except a post office box in the Bahamas.

Now, before you jump either off a bridge, or into a bottle – Listen Up!

For the last 50 years, there's been something else going on, under everyone's radar. Lately, it's sprung up in the shape of windmills and solar power, visible for the first time on TV. Google Farmer's Markets to see one of the areas of the economy that has gone GREAT guns because of the Tobacco Death Tax.

AND if you are a writer or part of the writer's support industry, an Indie publisher, vendor, editor, cover artist, marketing guru or even someone who bought and read an Indie book, guess what?

YOU ARE PART OF THE REVOLUTION, TOO.

As much as the Brain-Washed Scions of the Trade Publishing (paper) Industry are screaming about the un-washed rabble at the door, Indie books are selling. There was a pent-up demand for fresh stories, and back-list books. Indies are scouring the Internet for help with editing, cover art, marketing and production.

Things have changed and will change some more.

Fasten your seat-belt.

Hard Drives CAN Be Orderly

I have to give April L. Hamilton credit for being the first to tell me to organize my hard drive.

Correction - not just TO do it, but HOW to do it. If you have any aspirations of being self-published (or like me a sneaking suspicion that you are going to end up DIY publishing) learn all you can from April's Indie Publishing Guide.

Build on that base, you will be able to tackle the needed tasks without too much trouble. (Sorry, that was a WHOPPER of a lie.) DIY publishing is a bitch. April will keep you from walking into it clueless.

The first thing I did was make a folder called "Books" then I made another named "Irene" to put Mom's stories in. She's got over 350, so they need their own space. Inside the "Books" folder I have "Advertising", "Books Published", "Covers", "Manuscripts", and "Works In Progress".

(I've written that sentence 3 times, it STILL doesn't look right. Damn commas anyways. My brain treats them like numbers and I'm number dyslexic.)

In order to get an handle on Mom's stories, we divided them into 17 Volumes. There is at least one volume of kids stories, and an entire novel, or 2. The Index is 7 pages long.

I also have a folder for "Advertising" in My Pictures to keep that stuff in order.

My point is a simple one - sort the files into some kind of order. There is nothing worse than wanting to fill out an email for a reviewer and have to dink around on your hard drive for an hour looking for the stupid file that was in the way 2 days ago. Where is the banner ad? and how the hell did I lose my Bio this time?

My personal rule of thumb on sorting files: If there is more than 1 screen, sort it! At least have 1 folder named "Backup" or "Old" for out-of-date materials. There is nothing like spending an hour looking for a banner ad, then posting the wrong one because the names were nearly the same.

The really neat part of this was after I sorted a bunch-a-crap files I found I could do the same thing with my spreadsheets. They are now in their own folder, sorted into sub-folders by topic. I have "Farm", "Projects" and "Books" folders.

Now, I'll let you in on a BIG LIFESAVER TIP - back the whole directory up on a flash-drive or a memory stick. I've got both. I back up my files to all kinds of places on the web, too. Google Docs, ever heard of that? It is the BEST place to stash a backup file. I've got G-Mail which gives me space for my critical files.

Another place I  stash backups - my MP3 player. It has all my music (backup #1) all the photos I can't live without (backup #2) and the Master Docs of all my books (backup #3).

If I could just organize my TIME. (sigh)

Progress, not perfection.

Look What I Found!

I was reading tweets today, and found a gem Indie Reader a website that is targeting READERS not writers.

The one thing that I've always found just plan strange is the amount of time that Indie Authors spend spamming/marketing to EACH OTHER and not to readers.

I mean it, how weird IS that?

Hanging in the Indie Ghetto is great for making friends, but I hang out with people who don't read my genre at all. No offense, but I can't imagine Andre Jute reading 'Swallow the Moon' on his Kindle.

I'm just not his type, or Allen, Jason or Nigel's type. I hang out with too many writers of other genre.

So where do you go to find readers? Amy and her crew may have a solution. They were mentioned on a site (was it NYT?) that gave them some pointers.

So I've decided to give them a plug, and a space on my Links list.

'The Help' A Book Review

The Help by Kathryn Stockett

My rating: 5 of 5 stars


This is a great look at the Civil Rights Era from the inside of a small town.


I lived in Huston Texas in the early 1980's and I was floored by the attitude of the people there.


Reading this book reminded me of how far we have come, and how far there is yet to go.


View all my reviews

Little Things Add Up

There are so many little things that need my attention in any given day.

Little dogs (5 this week), little cleaning, little cooking, various little computer tasks (6 computers last count) and a bunch of e-books to market. This is all part of living on a little farm.

There are also little victories.

Today's accomplishment is a small one, but a good one. My discarded scene from "Let's Do Lunch" has been viewed 99 times this month. This came about because I used it for #SampleSunday which garnered 50 some hits. Hot Damn! Tag McTaggart gets his day in the spotlight!

Very soon, I will be holding this book in my hand.

Yahoo!!

The Big Reveal!

At long last, I can reveal the new cover!

This is the cover from Create Space. Clean lines, bright colors and a modern look.

I'm busy putting this cover to work. I expect it to be displayed on all vendor sites in 3 days or so.

Let's Do Lunch

Tinkering With Posts

I took a look at my blog today, noticed that E-Book Pricing was a hot topic.

But you know what? There wasn't a label for it, nor were any of the posts linked.

My apologies!

There are 30 tweets of the first pricing post - I suspect that I've missed out on a hell of a lot of other tweets because I didn't get the posts linked.

Now they are all linked together, properly.

I've been neglecting this site - well the organization of this site - in my quest to market my novels. I feel this simple change will benefit my readers. I will keep tinkering until I get this right.

New Cover!

At long last I have a great cover for 'Let's Do Lunch!'

I would post it here, but it is a PDF not a jpeg, so we are out of luck.

However! I have approved the cover and the interior design. It is only a matter of time before I have a proof in my hands.

Odd phenomena --

'Let's Do Lunch' continues to get hits on Smashwords. The book usually sells in the middle of the month, not at the first of the month. But all month long it gets steady hits and sampling from the Smashwords page. I had thought that since it got 132 downloads in the Smashwords July promotion that traffic would slow down. It hasn't.

 Another thing I find odd is that I can't find 'Let's Do Lunch' on the Women's Fiction list. It used to be on page 5 of the 'search by ratings.' No longer.

'Swallow the Moon' is on the first page of Smashwords, Women's Fiction best sellers. I find this odd because I sold a lot more copies of 'Let's Do Lunch' during the promotion.

'Swallow the Moon' is number 42 on the  Smashwords 'Must Buy' list on Goodreads.

I'm THRILLED to announce that 'Coming Home - Dicky's Story' is #2 on the same list! Go Sarah!

An Adventure in Printing

At noon on Tuesday, I got the message from Create Space. My covers were ready for approval.

They both were very nice, even though they were on opposite sides of the spectrum. The first was dark and colorful, a bit of elaborate font and good artwork.

But the second concept was MUCH better. Very simple, modern with just a hint of e-pulp fiction to it. There was just 1 problem. It was a 'fine dining' restaurant - bow-tied waiters with towels over their arms.

SO close, but a total miss!

I suggested a change, (get rid of the window and the waiters) sent them the photo of the Deli and will hope for the best.

The interior also came in. The first thing I noticed was the font matched the cover I wasn't going to use. Then I realized I gave them the wrong front matter.

They said I get 80 changes. I sincerely hope I won't need them all.

The Next Step - Printed Books

Yes, I'm going to kill some trees. I've signed up for Create Space to put 'Let's Do Lunch' out as a paperback, with 'Swallow the Moon' right behind it.

It was a bit pricy for my non-existent budget, but well under $1k.

I would have done it myself, but the manuscript has been through so many word processors I wasn't able to get all the hidden codes out. Even after I pasted 'unformatted text' there were STILL strange little things going on.

Since 'Swallow the Moon' doesn't have these problems, and I have a cover, I'll do that one myself.

The 6x9 template looks good. I'm going for a sans-serif font because I like them better. They either are larger or they look larger on paper. The large page size should keep the page count within reason, which keeps the printing cost down.

The 'Design Team' at Create Space seems to be a nice, knowledgeable bunch. They will allow for 80 changes to the manuscript before there is a fee. But, as thoroughly as we went over that poor manuscript, I doubt we will find anything.

The cover team has a large framework to work with. They have the blurb, the photo of the Deli, my suggestions and my blessing to have fun and get a little 'pulp fiction' vibe going if they want.

Why I am doing this?

Mary W. Walters – it's all her fault. She wrote about The Author As Publisher which got me to thinking. (Danger, Will Robinson, danger!)

Print on demand publishing is the next step. This is the logical time for me to take that step. I've got 16 volumes of Mom's short stories staring at me. I’m sure she's going to want at least 1 printed on paper.

A Rant in Geek Speak

I won't be the least upset if you don't read this. I haven't indulged in a good rant in a while, this one is all about data collection and so forth. Boring as hell, so sorry.

I was looking at my sales data, trying to make some sense of it. Lot's of luck - it's a nightmare.

There are 3 vendors, with sub-vendors, 12 months, a series of years to come, and an unlimited number of stories. There's no freaking way to make it fit in a single spreadsheet.

You know why? Because the crazy data is 3-dimensional not 2-dimensional.

Yes - I know - multiple spreadsheets within a book. Ha! Divided by what exactly? Vendor? Each one has a problem with it – watch this.

Spreadsheet sales by vendor. We have months across the top (X) and each writing project across the side (Y). So where does the sub-vendor information go? Oops! Can't track sales by market.

Take two – Months across the top and vendor with sub-vendor information down the side. So where do we break it down by writing project? (SUPER clunky, this one, though I will need it for the IRS.)

Take three – each project gets their own spreadsheet. (Right, like I have time for that!) and each sale is broken down by price and royalty rate.

PRICE? Royalty rate? Wait a cotton-pickin' minute! I gotta know each sale for that. Not just Monthly sales and and vendor but the dang prices (which vary) and royalty rates?

Look, you want to crunch these numbers properly or guess at how much money you lose every time you put a work 'on sale' for $.99 – or worse yet for free? Average earnings counts in the real world, chickybaby, so don't go a 'art-Tist' and squirm out of it!

Buck up and Geek this properly.

Must have coffee! Coffee and bad Chinese food!

NO! Too early for Chinese.

Okay, Coffee AND chocolate! Put it in the coffee!

(trots off to raid the Godiva.)

Did I ever tell you that I buy Godiva chocolate at the Rineyville Feed Store?

(trot, trot, trot)

AHHHHHH!!!! HE ATE THE GODIVA! AHHHHHH!!!!!!

(Sobbing noises)

Another Opportunity Wasted

Restaurant owners sour on county over big fee for sewer "hookup" fees for existing service.

There is nothing like investing $750k in your business then getting hit with another $50k for something that isn't going to change.

The Kustalas planned to open Lure at Coffee Creek Estate by this fall, but Nicholas said the reuse-fee issue has delayed its opening and put on hold 15 to 25 new jobs. Nicholas Kustala has taken the issue to U.S. Rep. Steven LaTourette, R-Bainbridge, and is working with the county commissioners to find a solution. The topic came up at a commissioners’ work session earlier this week, and Commissioners Board President Daniel Claypool said it shows one issue of county and municipal sewer treatment systems: unreasonably high tap-in fees that discourage new business.

We all know how 'cliquish' small towns are - is this just the latest example of how backwards Ashtabula county really is?

There is the story of the people who purchased siding, for a building on Main Street, but couldn't put it up because no one told them it had to be a certain gage.

There are the hundreds of abandoned homes that 'can't' be taken over by the city and resold. Commerical buildings that have been vacant for years. And the Carlisle building that is literally condemned and can't be be torn down.

This is the same county that insists on finding a 'fairy Godfather' super-plant that will employ every person in town - instead of growing small and micro-businesses.

In the land of 'Go Big or Go Home' is it any wonder why business choose the 2nd option?

More on 'Swallow the Moon'

I'm getting everything in order - this is really time consuming.

However, it is important to take this time, before the official date, to get everything in order.

Here is some eye-candy.

The Smashwords edition is up and for sale. I'm waiting on the premium catalog and I may need to buy another ISBN. The book is also signed up for the Smashwords promotion at half price.

'Swallow the Moon' on sale at Smashwords for $1 with this code: SSW75

There is so much to do - I hope I've given it enough time.

Pulled the Trigger on "Swallow the Moon"

I know, you didn't expect to see that tom-cat in a post about publishing.

It's kinda like getting 'rick-rolled' which you might need to google.

Publishing the second novel is different that publishing the first. I was happy to have a manuscript in good enough shape to experiment on.

But it's different this time. 'Swallow the Moon' is a better story. So, like that old tom-cat, I haz street cred.

The New Midlist: Self-published E-book Authors Who Earn a Living

The New Midlist: Self-published E-book Authors Who Earn a Living

I'm on the Kindleboards and I've seen these figures before.

This is important stuff to think about. Good reasons to consider your publishing options.

I can only hope to reach the 'mid-list' at this point. It is always good to have goals.

Knock Knock - Mother Clucker

Pick Your Battles is an utterly hillarious blog that I wouldn't believe except for the pictures.

It just goes to show that no man is a match for the twisted female sense of humor. NO MAN.

Because when Man pisses off his Woman strange things tend to happen. Like she brings home a sheet metal sculpture of a chicken - well a rooster. And we all know what the other name for rooster is.

The um - chicken/rooster jokes going through my head have kept me in gales of giggles since I first saw this.

If ever a story deserved to go viral - this is the one.

Just keep in mind that this started over towels. Now it's totally out of control.

Another Great Idea

I'm dangerous when I start thinking. The phrase 'what if' gets me into more trouble.

The other day I was on E-Bay - and I picked up on the 'hatching eggs' section.

Seriously, I couldn't resist. I tried, but I kept going back to this one part. They were offering 17 hatching eggs of various species. Potluck - catch as catch can. Whatever was laid that day - I would get 17 of them.

Chicken, duck, goose, turkey, pheasant or -- drum roll -- peacock eggs to be sent to my home for me to attempt to hatch.

I should know better...I'm gambling again. This time it will be more fun - if anything hatches.

I'm hopeless - you know that right?

I wrote this post because my book came back from the editor and I'm too chicken to look at it.

Buc-buc-AWK

Jive and the Turkey

A couple weeks ago I purchased a couple young turkey poults. Oddly enough they came with a tattered looking game hen. As usual, there were losses. Only one turkey is still alive, and he has his ninja foster-mother to thank.

Anyway, I call her Jive (70's slang = Jive Turkey.) She hangs out in the farthest corner of the barn, or takes Turkey into one of the stalls. High strung and paranoid, it doesn't look like I'll be handling her or Turkey any time soon. She GROWLS at me when I come into the barn. Sounds like a good sized dog - scared the hell out of me the first time I heard it.


Jive's a game (fighting) chicken which means she's aggressive - attack my feet and bite like a pitbull aggressive. I had to punt her to get her to let go - I'm lucky to still have my toes. I have some bite marks on my ankles from when I surprised her. I started carrying my chicken stick to ward off attacks.

The other chickens are wary of her. (How's that for an understatement?) The cats cringe when they see her coming. I'm selling tickets to her next encounter with Trouble. I'd make some money betting on her.

My rooster, Mickey Finn, tried to make up to her, you know, add her to the harem. I didn't see what happened, (it was that fast) but he lost feathers in the process. Rejection sucks even when you're a rooster.

He did give her species-challenged offspring a long, hard look. Then kinda shook it off. I'm sure he figured having a young-un that ugly made her a bit touchy. He's offered her food, which she's refused. But she runs back and forth when he gets close as if she's flustered. (Oh, no he's looking and my feathers are a mess! Help! Go away! No - wait - no - go way.)

Any woman who's ever seen a hot guy with her hair in curlers (or her legs unshaved) can relate.

What bothers me is that the old drake, Pinto, follows her around with lust in his heart. Well, I think it's lust, but he might just be trying for a turkey sandwich. He ate one of her babies already. If I ever get another drake, Pinto's going to go for Chinese. (If you know what I mean.) However, all his rivals have mysteriously vanished, not even leaving feathers behind.

I think he cut a deal with the foxes.

What a skank.

A Word, By Any Other Name

Guest Blog Post by Sarah R. Yoffa

One of the most-commonly misunderstood parts of the novel-writing process is what happens after that amazing creative burst subsides, once the story has been disgorged from the AuthorGod's mind. The process isn't finished when you get to "The End," but the fun, creative part is over. No, after all the fun is when the uncreative, hard work of editing begins.

Creative writing and editing are very different activities, tapping into different sides of the brain, but since both activities involve selection and rejection of words, many writers confuse creative "wordsmithing" with actual editing. In addition, there are different levels of "editing" which are actually intended to effect different changes, so it's important to understand the purpose of each level or type of "editing" and treat each activity accordingly. With the possible exception of a class in a School of Journalism, to my knowledge, no literary or creative writing course will teach you how to edit, so let's take a look at the different terms and what they really mean. Or what they mean to me¹, anyway.

Proofreading:

This is a read-only activity where one used to print out (onto paper) and mark "mistakes" but not actually change anything. Given that computerization's whole point is to eliminate paper waste, this step has become interactive. That doesn't mean you should eliminate it entirely, though, so a word of caution to the novice. Proofreading at the keyboard is much harder to do "correctly" when it's done interactively, as most authors will line-edit while proofreading instead of proofreading as a distinct activity. Proofreading as a reading activity serves a purpose, and making it interactive raises the chances that errors will slip through. In fact, new errors might be introduced through the line-editing process if conducted in parallel with proofreading and these new errors might not be caught at all if there is not a separate and discrete proofreading stage.

Proofreading should be done with a focused mind--focused on the task of simply picking up on typos. That is, typographical errors which the author actually knows are incorrect but, due to typing quickly and with zeal as the story unfolded before them, mistyped or mistakenly typed while so immersed in the creative process. Most of the errors caught during proofreading are related to spelling (transposed letters in a word), grammar (changing singular to plural or using -ed when you meant to write -ing and definitely were not confused as to verb tense), or even simple errors in punctuation and sentence structure.

Note, by "sentence structure," I'm not referring to a well-flowing sentence. That's an editing issue. Rather, I refer to actual mistakes in the construction of the sentence. The author will instantly see these the next time they look at the work. For example, one of my worst typos is moving a word over by 2 or 3 words in a sentence. This is purely a function of my typing at the high speed of about 100 words per minute (wpm) and thinking at about 180wpm. My fingers simply cannot keep up with my brain so the words come out jumbled. Later, when I'm proofreading, even I can't figure out how some of these sentences got rearranged the way they did.

Proofreading functions on the premise that the reader does not know what the words are until they are actually being read; therefore, mistakes will them "stumble" as they're reading along. A reader's "stumble" can occur for other reasons (e.g., plotting issues) but usually, it's due to a typo, poor sentence construction or some kind of grammatical mistake. The latter two issues will be address when line-editing but the typos are straightforward proofreading issues.

The biggest problem a fiction writer faces is that we read our own work multiple times as it's being created. We practically memorize our novels before we finally say they are done and ready to go out into the world. If you're a novelist, at a minimum, you probably read your own work:

(1) inside your head while you're forming the thought and about to type it;
(2) as you're typing it, and
(3) immediately after you've typed it.

Years ago, when I worked as a secretary, and therefore, had to proofread my own typing as soon as possible after typing it, usually within an hour or less, I discovered that the best way to clear my mind of what I'd just typed was to deliberately immerse myself in something else. I'd type ten letters then go back to proofread the first one. For a novelist, just write another scene, then double back to proofread the previous piece. Leap-frog through the day's work, proofing as you go. Proofreading, not editing. For more on the difference, keep read on.

When you feel like you could recite your book by heart and can't proofread it effectively anymore, even waiting an entire day after typing it, try reading it out loud. Reading aloud allows you to read it "anew," because you've literally never heard the words before; you've only seen them. By forcing your ears to double-check your eyes, you by-pass your brain's belief that you know what the words say.

Line-Editing:

Not to be confused with actual editing (see below), this process is sometimes called Copyediting. In fact, traditional DTB publishers have a position whose title is "Copyeditor" and that person might be assigned to do this activity for a novel the publisher has under contract.

It is an interactive process where the author (or a Copyeditor) will change individual words to "tighten" a sentence or improve its flow without actually changing its meaning or having any impact on the story's overall plot. Line-editing might include the deletion of an entire sentence to "tighten" a paragraph or the Copyeditor might add those transitional sentences that are needed between paragraphs to improve the flow of a story's plot and pacing. Line-editing will improve, or polish, the flow of a story without impacting the kernel of the story being told. This is not an activity of correction (so it's not proofreading) but can introduce new errors, so be sure to proofread again after line-editing.

Wordsmithing:

And now we meet the Villian of our story. This is the #1 most-commonly visited activity by new or inexperienced writers. It is also an absolute waste of time and effort. This activity will destroy a new or inexperienced author's efforts to polish their work themselves. It is a distraction, not a productive activity. What is it, exactly?

Wordsmithing is what I call it when an author reads along, has an innate sense that something is "wrong" with the sentence (or paragraph) but rather than deleting the sentence or replacing it entirely, he finds himself changing one word here or one word there. He is unable or unwilling to simply delete the sentence or troublesome phrase. Most commonly, a new writer or one who is inexperienced in editing, will get so attached to a word or turn of phrase, they will wordsmith repeatedly polishing "around" the problem without actually remedying the situation. In fact, they might wordsmith to such an extent they end up bloating the story and still not fixing the original problem. These authors must learn to simply murder their darlings, delete those pet phrases or words, no matter how painful it might seem at the time. Once the newbie author gets past the first or second act of "murder," it's an amazingly freeing activity to simply delete things that aren't working. In fact, it will help build your confidence in your ability to write because if you write something different, you'll probably be writing something better. Best of all, you'll see the improvement the next time you proofread!

Wordsmithing can be just the tweaking of words but it can also involve adding and subtracing commas, quote marks, dashes and other punctuation as though they are paraphrenalia instead of serving an actual mechanical function in a grammatical structure. Most commonly, authors who are committed to wordsmithing--rather than copyediting--will change something, then change it back, then change it again, back and forth, repeatedly, ad nauseum. Literally. It will make you sick to watch an author friend spin their wheels trying to fix something when all they're doing is pushing the same problems around on their plate. Like brussel sprouts

(Actually, I really like brussel sprouts but it made a nice simile).

Editing:

And tah-dah, now we meet the Hero of our story. Editing. This is one of the hardest activities for a creative writer to master. There's a reason for that. Generating the story is a creative process. Editing a story is usually a destructive process. That is, editing involves a lot more deletion than it does insertion of new material. Editing fiction is hard to define in specific, task-oriented terms.

In journalism, or other non-fiction editing, one looks at how quickly and concisely the message of "who, what, when, where, how and why-should-readers-care" can be delivered. Journalism professionals are concerned with using the least amount of column-space to deliver the largest amount of information with the highest level of emotional content so as to hook the reader's attention and hold it. Sound bites work best in a magazine or newspaper article.

In fiction, however, pacing the plot correctly requires that the content of the story be inextricably linked to how the it's being told. You don't want to rush past the climax in three paragraphs and then dwell on a five-page description of a tree. Unless, like Dickens, you're being paid by the word and they don't care how many words you send them. If you know of a job like this, please post a link in the comments! I can churn out 10,000 meaingless words in an hour for you. Let's talk subcontract!

Editing fiction looks at the over-arching "shape" or flow of a story's plot from the beginning, through the middle and to The End. Your editing will impact the readability of your story and the depth to which the reader is involved in the moment of action on the page. If it's a quiet moment, a character reflecting on a major decision she has to make, you might like to go on for five pages. If it's a shoot out or car accident, not so much. Editing is the process that lets you make your sentences shorter for a faster pace or the expositive more vibrant for a richer setting and world-building experience. You might have to change the content entirely but your editing will not simply change a word here or there. Editing will impact the plot and, therefore, the characters.

Editing is the means by which you make characters more believeable, more sympathetic or likeable (or someone we love to hate in the case of a Villian or Anti-Hero). Editing might be how you create a new character when a plot twist isn't believeable and you need to have someone else in the scene to justify the protagonist's choices. Editing is where you delete paragraphs, pages, even whole chapters, to make the overall length of the book better-suited to the story you wanted to tell.

Editing fiction is not just a process for removing stumbling blocks or scraggly plot points. Editing can also deepen a character, expand on a subtext or set up a sequel. The key to editing is to always look at the "Big Picture" or the overall "shape" of a story's plot. The so-called story arc. Some people call it a story's "theme" or "meta-arc" if it is a common line of plotting that connects one volume to another in a series. Editing is done at what I call the 50,000 foot level while Copyediting and Proofreading are down at the ground level, with your nose an inch from the page. Editing is altering the map of the entire book, not the massaging of paragraphs and certainly not the wordsmithing of individual sentences.

I never used to outline before beginning to write, and I usually begin writing a book at The End and work my way backwards, but as I got better at editing, I realized, outlining first meant I could use it as a guide or map to my story's journey. And it made editing later much, much easier.

Outlining first does not have to restrict you. You are the AuthorGod. You can deviate from the outline and take a little side trip if your Muse leads you down the garden path; but having an outline means you don't lose sight of the Big Picture that is the forest while you're creating those much-loved pet phrases that are the trees populating your story.

I hope these concepts delineating the different levels of "editing" make sense to you and that you can see why the different ways of "touching" a story after you've finished writing it are so distinct and not all clumped under one term. They each serve entirely different purposes. Hiring a professional editor should get you more than mere line-editing or proofreading. If they aren't smoothing out your plot, shaping the story's arc to be most effective for the kind of story it is and ensuring that your characters have depth, then they aren't worth hiring. You can find voracious readers on Goodreads, Authonomy or in any bookseller's web site forums who will proofread and line-edit for you free of charge. They'll think they're getting something for free. With the proliferation of digital eBook reading devices, the numbers of readers who are online looking for free stuff to read is literally infinite.

Real editing requires a professional ability to critique at a 50,000 foot level. An author can--and should--learn to do it for herself, but if you're going to pay someone else to do it for you, be sure he delivers your money's worth. If you aren't sure about the quality of an editor (a) request three (3) references of authors they've worked for previously whom you can contact with questions about the editor and (b) check to be sure they are not listed in the Writers Beware database.

---

¹Most of my knowledge of how to polish a document after it's been composed comes from the one-year Executive Secretarial Program of the Katharine Gibbs School, which taught secretarial skills for over 100 years before it changed, in the 1990s, into a web design school. Accordingly, my information is based on "King's English" and not netspeak or prosaic literature or even on the journalistic rules of written communication. I apply executive communication rules of American English to my fiction, mostly complying with the Chicago Manual of Style, but only on rules of grammar, punctuation and spelling. Style, in fiction, is called a writer's voice and no "manual" or "course" can tell you how to find your own voice. Your writing will "sound" different from mine, hopefully, but we should all conform to the the same rules of English language usage--assuming your story is written in English.

Sarah R. Yoffa can be found on Facebook as Sarah, The Webbiegrrl Writer or on Twitter @webbiegrrl. Her debut novel, Coming Home (Dicky's Story), a Romantic Comedy/Jewish Inspirational, is available in multiple eBook formats at Smashwords or through the Amazon US and Amazon UK Kindle stores.

Quickie

I started working on my mother's stories.

I have decided that for her 88th birthday, I'm going to get a collection together and published to Amazon.com

She's got 18 volumes of short stories, so I'm going to give this my best shot.

If you would like to read one of her stories - "Turned Out" is on Smashwords (where it is free), B&N and Amazon where it is $.99.

She gets a quarter for each sale - it's a running joke. I've got a roll of quarters with her name on them.

The Vincent Zandri Vox: "You Can Write on the Side!"

The Vincent Zandri Vox: "You Can Write on the Side!"

Saw this and thought it was worth sharing - as a lesson of sorts.

I've been on the other side of this - writing 'on the side' never worked for me. I'm just not organized enough to send out stories or novels while juggling a 'real' job and all my home responsibilities.

Realistically taking care of the people in my life and working a job is really 2 full-time jobs. So adding writing (even as a part-time job) is out of the question.

This 'dog and pony show' takes up all my time.

Chicken's Can't Swim

I let the chickens free range today. It was too hot for the dogs to want out - so I let the baby birds roam. Of course there is a percentage of them who haven't figured out that the big huge doors on the barn are for.

Ever heard the saying "Dumb cluck" - can you guess where it came from?

I always take Mocha the Mutt out with me when it's time to round up chickens. She's got a beagle nose and no prey drive to speak of - unlike the Jack Russels who don't know when to stop.

We checked the peppermint patch for strays - and found a few. She spotted them and I carried them back to the pen. I went back for one more when I happened to shine the flashlight in the water trough.

Sure enough - I had a drowned chicken in there. I scooped up the body - and was amazed when the wings flapped a bit. Dumb Cluck had fallen in and but hadn't given up the ghost yet. I carried the weak critter into the barn - found the heat lamp and the big metal trough that I converted to a brooder when it rusted out.

I put the poor shivering bird under the light and watched it for a few minutes. It had bubbles coming out of it's beak - a bad sign. Also it was kinda laying on it's side - another bad sign.

I left it for about an hour - I just came in from checking on it. It still wasn't completely dry - but it was standing on it's feet and looking at me.

I can't assume that the bird is fine - it could still catch cold and die. So it will stay in the brooder all night. Chances are even for a good outcome, which is  greatly improved since I fished it out of the water.

I suppose it has learned that it's can't swim - but I won't count on it.

Chicken's aren't very bright.

Kindle Author Interview: Dan Holloway

Long time friend of Jordan's Croft - Dan Holloway has an interview on Kindle Author. Follow this link to read it.

Yea! Dan!

I want to acknowledge Dan and his contributions to my journey - back in the early Authonomy days there were several long and in depth conversations about self-publishing and ways to make it work.

Dan started Year Zero with some like-minded friends, others started DIIARTS publishing and Lorraine started a blog called "Author's on Show." I sat on the fence and blogged about their adventures, knowing that it might be a good idea for me as well.

Then that Joe Konrath guy came along - with some serious numbers.

Authonomy has changed - it isn't the incubator of creativity that it used to be. I see that Team Autho is working to clean out the riff-raff because the site is still a magnet for newbie writers wanting to get a break.

Still I recall those conversations and the comradary we shared very fondly. It is always good to see others growing in this ever-changing business.

Best Wishes!

Kindle Author: Kindle Author Interview: Dan Holloway: "Dan Holloway, author of The Company of Fellows , discusses his book, his journey as a writer, and self-publishing on Kindle. DAVID WISEHAR..."

Short Story - 'Impressive Bravado'

I just released a short story - to Amazon. It wouldn't go through Pubit! So I distributed it through Smashwords today. The story has been up as a freebie on Smashwords since May 17, 11.

I did this just to see what would happen. It has blurbs for 'Let's Do Lunch' and 'Swallow the Moon' so it has advertising benefits. The best part is that it was a hit - 200 hits in the first 2 days and 35 copies downloaded. To date there have been 80 copies downloaded.

A side benefit was I sold a copy of 'Let's Do Lunch' on Amazon. The first sale in 2 1/2 months was a surprise. It also proves that it doesn't pay to give up.

'Impressive Bravado' is a light-hearted and satirical look at the horse whisperer phenomena. There is a grain of truth in it - as I encountered a version of Aquitania while out and about. She stuck in my mind - as such a character would. I expect to see more of her and Dr. Katie McCarty DVM as time goes on.

Deputy Sheriff Shallamon calls Katie McCarty DMV for her opinion of horse mutilations. Someone is targeting local stallions for unauthorized neutering. Anyone with the bravado to sneak into a barn and perform these operations has to be crazy. Is it barn rivalry or something even more sinister? (Short Story - 7k words)

I have the story at $.99 to generate a few sales while I'm in the final stages before 'Swallow the Moon' goes to the editor. Real life has interfered with my writing until I feel like I'm starting all over again. This time I'm starting small and working up to the launch. 

 Watch this space for a guest post.

Me and My Nook - Changing the Way I View Books

I was writing a review about 'Water for Elephants' when I realized just how profoundly my attitude towards books has changed.

"Oddly enough - I'm glad that I bought an e-book not a DTB book. I wouldn't want to have the paper book around. I have too many books that I love - it doesn't seem right to have one I merely like. When I think about that statement, I understand just how profound an effect e-books have had on me. Not only am I buying more books - but it's changed the way I look at DTBs."

What a change for a former book hoarder. My attitude towards books had a profound shift - I'm even looking at shelf space differently.

 I'm buying and reading at least 1 or 2 books a month. I used to read more - but was gleaning them from thrift stores and flea markets. I don't do that anymore. As more backlist hits the internet I'll be reading some old favorites.

How can I put this into words?

I am mentally dividing books into categories - snack-like books - read once and not again. Good stuff for entertainment - like 'Water for Elephants' a good read but not a 'keeper.' The higher quality books that I want to have on the shelves. Which right now means non-fiction books on writing, gardening and food economics. There is my collection of Nora Roberts, Elizabeth Peters and Janet Evonovich some in hardback  because I couldn't wait for the next book.

So here I am - does this make me a reformed book hoarder?

No - but my library is now for reference purposes. I can buy non-fiction without feeling guilty about the number of books on my shelf. Anything that lets me buy more books without having to find shelf space for them is a GOOD thing!

Vacation Catch-up Blues

There is only 1 bad thing about going on vacation - catching up when you get back.

I'm sure we've had more than 40 days and 40 nights of rain. Everything is sodden - even the horse stalls. Especially the horse stalls!

The herd of brats has taken to checking their stalls to see the condition before they go inside. They wouldn't even come in the other night during a storm because the stalls were still wet. Their stalls wouldn't be nearly as wet if they didn't pee soon as they walk in.

I've put rubber matting down for the old mare - which she doesn't like. But it is the only way to keep her stall even partially dry.

I have put in an official complaint to Mother Nature about the rain. It is supposed to go to New Mexico - they haven't had any rain in nearly 230 days!

Somehow - I don't think my complaint will help.

HAPPY CLIMATE CHANGE EVERYONE!

Hermit Kitty

Yes – it's true! Ms Kitty has gone hermit.


With my only connection to the interwebs a dialup connection (gasp!) I've holed up in the wilderness.

This drastic measure – yes, it's drastic YOU try to survive on a dialup connection – is solely to see if I can get some work done. I've been ADHD for so long that I'd given up hope of ever finishing ANYTHING.


However, I'm relieved to announce progress! I have finished and published "Impressive Bravado" a short mystery/satire about horses and the horse show industry. I did a DWS with it – finished it and threw it at Smashwords as a freebie.


Once I get some feedback on it, I might edit it a bit more. However, I doubt it. If I spend any more time on it, I'm going to have to charge for it.


Why did I do that? Two reasons both equally important at this point.


Advertising my skill as a story-teller. Unless people know that I can write, they will never buy my work. Somewhere along the line I've got to prove myself.


Ego (or self-esteem if you believe in Indigo children and other mythological creatures) as it's been more than 2 months since I've sold a single copy of "Let's Do Lunch" – I'm a hurting kitty.


"Impressive Bravado" is a short story in the Ms Kitty style of humor and satire that takes a poke at horse people in general and best of all – 'Horse Whisperers' in particular. It's already been 'bought' by 30 people since midnight last night.


I suppose the shit will hit the fan as soon as someone who knows horses reads it. I hope so – I need some free publicity.

Immigration Reform

As this country hollows out in the middle - as the boarders are slowly closing to drug traffic - it is time to address the issue of the underground economy.

I am the grandchild of immigrants - Ireland, Scotland, Hungary and Germany. There are several school of thought on this hot-button issue. I'm directly in the middle - where I seem to end up most of the time.

The Reactionary Right screams about 'Anchor Babies' and stolen jobs on one hand - while using immigrant housekeepers, nannies, gardeners, pool boys and caretakers. I've gotten used to this kind of blatant hypocrisy from the so-called 'upper class' even if it still turns my stomach.

I know people from all over the world. They have come because they WANT to be Americans. So did my grandparents - they LOVED this country. I don't see what the big deal is.

The birth rate has slowed down - here and in many countries around the world. People with access to birth control use it - because the middle class wants children but can't afford to raise them. People scream about 'generations' on welfare - yet perpetrate what amounts to a class system.

There is no justice in this - there is only insanity and chaos. Too many of the 'backroom' policies are counterproductive for long term stability - tax cuts for the rich, medicare cuts for the poor. Subsidies for corporations - benefit cuts for the unemployed and impoverished. The rich get richer and the poor get poorer - the middle class vanishes - who is America without a middle class?

I think we will be just another 'Third World' country unless the 'upper class' gets it's collective head out of it's ass and starts thinking LONG term. 

Bringing people stuck in the underground labor pool into the mainstream is a great idea. They will pay their taxes - and support the programs that help the poor become middle class. They bring new blood, new culture, new ideas and eager hands to this country in a time of stagnation.

Face it - we aren't talking about a few hundred thousand South Americans. We are talking about millions of Canadian, Irish, Hindu, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, British, Middle Eastern, European AND Latino immigrants. Doctors, Engineers, Software Developers and other skilled trades would be included with those who have a more limited education.

Put the engineers to work creating new technology to free us from the tyranny of fossil fuels. Fill the hollow middle with small farms and fresh faces. (Or give it back to the Native Americans who it rightfully belongs to...now there's a can of worms!)

This isn't a bi-coastal nation - there is a huge heartland crying for people to come and live. Immigrants have always come to fill the empty places in the economy - and give it a shot in the arm in the process.

Time to Eat My Words - The Lion is King

I have been royally ticked off at the present administration. I felt they had dropped the ball on the Kill Medicare bill. The budget debate, the ridiculous birther issues, the compromising with the Tea Party made me crazy - so I called our leader and chief a cowardly lion.

Then I saw the Correspondent's Dinner - heard the opening and realized that timing is a priceless quality that can't be faked. The opening display of his birth certificate - the humor, the priceless darts at those who had mocked him. His timing and delivery was as good as anything Jon Stewart EVER did.

I take all my barbs about 'cowardly lions' back on the basis of that performance alone. This is before Sunday night - before the President announced the demise of Bin Laden. Which makes all the joking at the Correspondent's Dinner vastly funnier - pointed and priceless, a 'Coup de grâce' to all the mockery this administration has endured.

I have to admit I never thought we would get Bin Laden. Now that he is no more - I look at the people who are trying to take credit for Obama's Victory and I get worked up all over again. Until I think about it - most of the people doing all the crowing have one little problem...they can't leave the country. If they do, and I think there are a dozen of them, they may find themselves up on charges for War Crimes.

Yes, the former administration's finest players are working hard to justify what they did in the court of public opinion - because International Law is waiting to pounce on them.

Justice comes in a lot of different forms. Some are more satisfying than others.

The Sun Has Returned!

I was starting to think we'd never see the sun again. Everything is soggy as noodles in week old soup. The pasture is more green and lush than ever - so I'm not going to complain too much. All the seed and manure spread over the winter paid off again.

The news from Chicken World is good - I've got eggs in the incubator, a hen on eggs and a duck on eggs. Soon there will be even more baby critters running around.

The first batch of chicks have turned into mini-chickens. I've tagged the ones most likely to be roosters for sale at the farmer's market. They are aggressive little tykes and take a great deal of pleasure beating on the hobbit chickens.

This is where it gets interesting - I have to separate the young roosters before they get on Mickey's nerves. He will kill them while they are small if there are too many running around. Sony would get them into the duck pond and drown them. (Sorry, but nature is not always pretty.)

I should get some picture posted of the flower beds. They are a weedy mess at the moment, but I'm working on them. The chickens are getting the debris, the horses are donating compost and I'm mulching the heck out of it in hope I can keep the weeds down.

The summer season has kicked off with the hanging of the wind-chimes. That sound will get me out of bed and onto the porch in the morning. With the lawn mowed and trimmed and a few flowers blooming - I can drink coffee in utter bliss.

Quick and Dirty Complaint

My return to Authonomy was a gesture of good faith. It appeared that the trolls and sock puppets had been taken care of. I brought my re-drafted novel and started up the charts in the old fashioned way. I was enjoying myself.

I was mistaken. There have been several attempts to have serious conversations about writing - but the trolls (who now have cutesy troll avis) ruin it by posting foul things like bad kids wanting Mom's attention.

Authonomy Sucks for Talking About Writing is the perfect example. Steve got 1 post - the trolls took over.

This is after the post where Team Authonomy laid down the law.

I have always thought that Authonomy was the perfect place to launch 'Swallow the Moon' because of the world-wide exposure. Right up until the last troll invasion it was working like a charm.

I've changed my mind.

Chicken World News

After last year's devastating losses the flock at Jordan's Croft at last has some good news. There are 22 new chicks from the incubator and 6 Buff Brahamas. Brahamas are known for their feathered feet and round bodies. I think of them as hobbit chickens.

 This is a nice Buff Brahama hen. Below is the rooster of the same breed. Pretty aren't they?

I was looking for a pretty chicken to paint.

I'd like to start painting again – so I wanted a pretty bird that wasn't zebra striped.

Another 24 eggs are due to hatch in 15 days. Since the last hatch was successful – it is likely this one will be as well. Only there'll be some cross-bred chicks – Rhode Island Red hens crossed with Mickey Finn – a cross-bred himself.

As soon as those eggs hatch I'm going to refill the incubator again. I haven't gone chicken crazy – I'm going to sell the youngsters at the farmer's market, keeping the largest hens for myself – and the prettiest for painting. Believe it or not – there is a huge market for chickens. People are looking for pretty hens for the back yard. I'm going to enjoy raising a slew of chicks.

These chicks are very tame; they come to me, perch on my hands and nip my fingers. I'm handling them daily, to keep them friendly. The balance of the chick-flock has already been transferred to Chicken World. They run and scratch inside all day and night. During the day they venture outside a bit – but the mud isn't any fun to scratch in. They like the thick bedding inside.

Things I wonder about –

I know very little about chicken genetics. I wanted to stick to one breed – but the Dominique breed didn't do very well here. The hens laid a nice amount of eggs – but didn't go broody until Smudge was 3 years old. The Barred Rocks I bought as Dominiques thrived – until the varmint killed them. The remnant of the flock could be called Dominiker as they are crossed between the Rocks and the Dominiques. These are what I'm going to stay with – at least until I get a better idea.

Mickey Finn is a Dominiker – a cross bred – the last two hens are also cross-bred. There is something called 'hybrid vigor' that occurs during cross-breeding. The offspring are more vigorous than either purebred parent. That's why there are so many cross-bred chickens – so what do you get when you cross two cross-bred chicken parents?

I'm going to try to get some more pictures and maybe some video of the chicks.

News from Chicken World

The Flock

Kiddy Pool Brooder

Chicken World Brooder

Today is another 'house and farm' day, not a writing day. However, I've pecked at this post until I got it done.

I'm moving a number of young chickens out of the kiddy pool/surround in the tack room to Chicken World – the coop inside the barn and outside pen complex. The little fools are flying out of their protected space. Once they hit the floor, they are fair game to the dogs and the varmints. I'm moving the flyer's in with the adults.
Crowded chicks, mixed ages even more so, will turn cannibal. The set up that works for 25 itty-bitty babies is WAY too small for them once they get a full set of feathers.

I have 4 week-old chicks with week-old chicks, the big ones need larger quarters, still sheltered but much larger. The little ones need more heat and better protection.

The problem is getting the adult flock to live in peace with the youngsters (without a mother hen to defend them). A mother hen is the Queen of the flock. She will beat the hell out of any creature who threatens her babies. My Barred Rocks are sweet tempered, but there are only 2 hens and the rooster. The others are 3 Comets and a Rhode Island Red – the Red hen is aggressive towards the chicks.

The rooster is the defender of his harem. This year I have Mickey Finn – son of Sony (killed by a fox), son of Sampson (who died of old age). Mickey is a cross between a Barred Rock and a Dominique. He's very good to the girls – most importantly this year – he's very fertile.

Since the turnover in the flock is so fast (I lost over 200 chickens last year) I band the chickens. I found it very frustrating to deal with 20 identical birds; I need a way to tell them apart. Therefore, the girls have blue bands and the roosters get a red band. Individuals have personalities although it can take 6 months or more for those to develop. The numbers help me get clued into behavior.

Smudge, band #2, was the mother hen. She was four last year. She would set some eggs in June and hatch a few chicks. If the duck hatched some, or if I bought a batch, Smudge would take them in as well. At one point last year she had 19 chicks. But she was killed when my own dogs got loose and all but three of that hatch were gone. Those birds are Micky, hens 22 and 23.

Seven was goofy – she would fly up to the loft then jump through the rafters to the other side of the barn for no apparent reason. She made a production out of it – squawking and flapping between jumps, never flying until she got to the tack room loft. Then she would fly down – a mere 3 feet difference between the rafters and the loft roof. Last year she went broody, taking over as the mother hen. She raised 16 babies until she was killed by a fox – that hatch was lost as well.

This year 22 seems to be the largest and darkest feathered of the hens. This means she has some Dominiker blood as those hens are much darker than Rocks. When I looked at the hatched babies – six are very dark, almost black. These are 22's babies, carrying the best of the Dominiker blood lines.

I had another rooster I called Rocky – he seemed to be Rhode Island Red and Dominiker. He was aggressive towards the drakes – who outweighed him by at least 5 pounds. Alas, the weasel got him this January. From the mess I saw – Rocky attacked the weasel first – it ripped his throat out. Then it killed the 2 hens he was defending. They were all in a heap, Rocky on the bottom.

This winter was rough – but with Spring comes the promise of renewal. Hatching chicks descended from my flock is a lot of fun. I hope to see this batch live their lives out in relative peace.

Spring Chickens

Last year was an awful year to be a chicken at Jordan's Croft. The losses were staggering – 200 eggs, 30 expensive purchased chicks, a dozen hatchlings, 20 adults and pullets.


The worst was this winter, when every night some kind of animal got into the coop and killed at least one of the flock. I lost the secondary rooster and all but 2 hens. I was attached to my flock; I raised them over the last 3 years. I bought a trap. I caught two cats, a dog and a rooster.


With some help from friends, we secured the coop, stopped the killing – after 2 weeks I figured it was safe to buy a couple more hens.


I've been collecting eggs since the first week of March. They started hatching a week ago. I picked up 9 chicks at the feed store. Now I have 20 chicks and a small clutch of eggs. The problem with hatching is at least half of the hatchlings will be roosters. So you need to hatch twice as many eggs as you want hens.

The difference this year, as I no longer have hens to raise the chicks, is that I set up a secondary brooder in a kiddy pool. This area is twice as large as the 55 gallon water trough I usually use.

Additionally, I bought a very large brooding box. It will be heated with a 100 watt bulb and put in chicken world. The youngsters will be able to run in and out of chicken world, yet have a warm place to go back to when they get chilled. The investment has been large, in order to get over the losses.


Maybe this will be a better year.