Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Having a career as a 'published' author has been my goal since I was a child.
Authonomy may have fed the fantasy, but it didn't get me closer to the goal. The time I spent on the site contributed to the loss of my job, conflict with my husband – and my written word count dropped to NOTHING. Sitting at the computer for hours on end has also contributed to my injury.
When 'wasting time on Authonomy' topped my list of self-destructive behavior AND obsessions, I knew that it was going to have to go. Everything that gets between my life and my goals has to go. I can't afford to retreat from reality, today. I need to be responsible.
After weeks of toying with the idea – I made my decision. I took "Moon" private –debated some more – copied my profile, comments, blurbs, deleted "Lunch" – debated with myself – deleted "Moon" and sent the "fatal" email.
To the Authonomy Team: I'm not blaming the site for my issues.
I'm getting real with myself; my behavior and the site are not compatible. I enjoyed my time on the site. I'm very glad that the site is highly successful in getting books for HC and highly entertaining for the employees.
I've learned a lot on the Publishing DIY forum. I intend to pursue that venue in the future.
Just for today – I have goals. To face life on life's terms, suit up and show up.
I have responsibilities to meet, while I have injuries that need tended. Life is calling – I'm going to answer. I'm not burning any bridges – don't want to – but it's time to move forward.